


as the world caves in

by dochiwrites



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bittersweet Ending, End of the World, Falling In Love, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung-centric, M/M, Road Trips, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, past dotae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:41:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25700740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dochiwrites/pseuds/dochiwrites
Summary: In four weeks, the world's about to end, and Doyoung has nothing to lose. That is, until Jaehyun walks into his life again, and suddenly he’s not so sure anymore.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 160
Kudos: 496
Collections: jaedo digest: vol. 2





	as the world caves in

**Author's Note:**

> prompt #023.
> 
> story is loosely based on the movie ‘seeking a friend for the end of the world'. no extensive knowledge needed to understand and read this. however, before reading on, i would encourage you to be mindful of the tags. nothing too major, but it is an end of the world fic, so expect it as it is. 
> 
> nonetheless, please enjoy the ride~
> 
> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Wmp6aDz6tGeesHEjQGEsY?si=QcZX_wk_T6q7E2wykPMNXg)

_ "It was not love at first sight but love on second thought, not love upon acquaintance but love on recollection." _

**_D-27_ **

_“–Not sure what could’ve caused the fire which led to the massive explosion of the space shuttle Prophet, killing all eight crew members and scientists on board and taking with them our last and only hope. Once again, if you are just tuning in, the SA space shuttle Prophet has been obliterated. The final mission to save mankind has failed. This is–”_

**_D-24_ **

Doyoung startles himself awake. He jolts his head up from his work desk by the hands of someone gripping his shoulder, but in his dream he was falling into the core of the Earth. This was better, at least. Falling into an abyss isn't exactly what he's excited for, but it's what keeps running in his mind.

When he turns his head up, he finds Mark, who looks just as alarmed as he is– hand already up to his chest and doe-eyed like a deer caught in headlights. “I’m sorry, I was just…” His words die down as quickly as he starts, and Doyoung turns to look around.

There’s nothing left in their building apart from rows of computer desks and empty seats. It wasn’t even noon yet.

“I’m not sure you got the memo…” Mark starts again. “They’re not requiring us to come in to work anymore.”

“I know.” Doyoung nods.

He did get the memo– the very next day the news broke. About how the world’s ending in four weeks, all thanks to an asteroid hurling itself towards the center of the Earth at lightning speed. Surprisingly, the reaction was much better than he was anticipating. No one wreaked havoc or jumped off the building or committed arson. It was almost like getting the daily reports, except this time it’s not about meeting quotas or budget cuts.

One by one, his co-workers packed up their stuff, shut their computers off and went out for a drink. He’s heard rumors of the CEO hiding in a supposed bomb shelter, their clients’ insurance plans no longer mattered, and in just two days the building has wiped itself clean.

In just one email, everyone’s lives shifted.

All except for Doyoung's.

It’s just for routine purposes, he tells himself. In any case he goes insane. He still sets his alarm for seven thirty, sprays his succulents moist, lint rolls his blazer and walks his way to work. He doesn’t really have a bucket list, nor does he intend on getting laid by every single stranger at a bar near his apartment. He’d rather die in three weeks without getting STDs anyway.

The power for the building isn't shutting down and they're draining out all resources because, well, because it'll be no use soon. So if it meant sticking to how Doyoung's usual life is, maybe coming to work isn’t the worst option.

“...We’re not getting paid, hyung.”

He can’t say the same for Mark, though.

“Why are you even here, kid?” he asks, drained. It doesn’t mean to come off as condescending as it is, but Mark doesn’t seem to take offense. 

“I left my Parker pen on my desk. I came to pick it back up,” and that’s when Doyoung notices him spinning it foolishly on his other hand.

“Your Parker pen,” he repeats, voice flat.

“Well, technically my dad’s, but yeah.”

Doyoung squints his eyes, shaking his head at him as he drags out a sigh. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”

He thought it would be the way to shut Mark up, to make him scram and leave him alone to wallow in his solidarity, but Mark only shrugs. “Don’t you?”

It throws him off more than it should so Doyoung brushes this off by hoisting himself up from the chair, towering Mark by a few inches to at least intimidate him one last time, but Mark is young and naive, and nuances like those pass by him and his innocence. He waits for an answer, and when Doyoung figures this kid is genuinely wondering whether he’s supposed to be elsewhere, the best he could do is divert the conversation.

“Look, you’re… young. Kids your age are, I don’t know, getting blackout drunk or high on drugs they’ve always wanted to try. Vandalizing the business street or looting the alcohol because they can. You don’t have to waste your time here–” he gestures at him vaguely, “picking back up a stupid pen. Go on.”

That seems to get him because then there’s a shift in his eyes, and when Mark looks down on his feet, Doyoung wonders if he had said something completely offensive.

"My dad left after Prophet got destroyed.”

Fuck. Of course, he did.

“Said he didn’t want to die with us. My mom, mostly, they’ve been fighting a lot. Turns out he’s had an affair for two years now, baby and all. I was thinking this pen was the only thing I have left of him so I tried looking for it at home but I couldn’t find it, then I figured it was here, so… Sorry, I guess,” Mark mumbles the words out, the fountain pen slowly being tucked inside his pockets. “Also, you’re like, three years older than me, hyung.”

Doyoung winces, scratching the back of his neck as he retrieves his jacket hung behind his chair. Guess not everyone's taking the news of Doomsday as well as he thought. The last thing he needs right now is to make this more miserable for a kid like Mark.

“Have you had lunch yet?” he asks. When Mark shakes his head, Doyoung forces a soft smile, nodding at the direction of the door. “It’s on me. C’mon.”

-

Doyoung never thought he’d live long enough to witness the world crash, but he should’ve seen it coming when the speculations of an asteroid directly hitting Earth has been going around since he was in high school. People called it a fraud, a diversion to distract everyone from the active investigations of corrupt government officials, and he bought into it because there’s no way the world’s caving in his lifetime, right? But turns out the apocalyptics weren’t lying.

He’s deep in his own thoughts as Mark gobbles down a tower of pancakes, free of charge since the owner has been basically giving it away to everyone who walks in on his restaurant.

“This is _insane!”_ Mark gleefully squeezes an alarming amount of syrup as Doyoung judges in silence.

“You were newly-hired, right?” he asks, an attempt at small talk.

“Yeah, for like, three months. I was actually still on probation, but you know, end of the world stuff.”

“Right.”

He glances quick enough to notice a counterfeit Rolex (or Rotex, rather) on Mark’s wrist, and Doyoung unknowingly lets out a chuckle. It’s always the fresh graduates trying to impress the bigshot business district. A shame things were already ending for this kid before it began.

“What?” Mark asks through a mouthful of food. “Oh shit, did you want one?”

Doyoung waves him off quickly, gesturing at him to keep eating, so Mark does.

“I don’t know about you man, but this is some _really good stuff_ you’re missing out on.”

He stabs a three-stack, shoving it a few inches away from Doyoung’s face that it makes him flinch, and Doyoung reluctantly takes a bite, chewing on it carefully so he could stand Mark corrected on how that pancake is not as life-changing as he’s making it out to be. But turns out it isn’t so bad, and once his approval was granted, Mark looks nothing short of satisfied.

“So, hyung,” Mark starts, finishing off the rest of his plate. “Where do you plan on waiting it out?”

Waiting it out. It’s a foolish buzzword for the end of the world. It’s what the tabloids have been naming it, too–recommending places to ‘wait it out’, some a bit twisted if you ask him: viewing decks with the best 360º view to watch the world cave in from, penthouses in the heart of the city, a modern-day replica of the Titanic… maybe humanity really deserved to be wiped off.

“Home,” he answers unsurely. “Maybe turn some music on, lie down with a glass of wine while I wait for the apartment building to collapse.”

“That sounds uneventful.”

He shrugs. “Why else do you think I was sleeping at the office?”

The thought makes Mark snort. “Point taken.”

“How about you?”

“I don’t know.” He sighs, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Me and my friends were actually planning to wait it out together, but with what happened with my dad and all, I didn’t wanna leave my mom alone so…” Doyoung watches him open his mouth, almost hesitant to speak, but he waits for him to go on. “Isn’t… isn’t that kinda sad? I mean, no offense, but… I don’t know… It just seems so lonely. Dying alone.”

Doyoung hasn’t really thought of it that way. Maybe because he’s so used to being alone for a while now. He’s always chosen to keep to himself, barely knowing anyone around the apartment complex apart from the landlord. He always clocked out the same time everyday, never staying over for after-work drinks. In fact, this is the longest conversation he’s had with a co-worker for the entire three years he’s been in the company.

“It’s not so bad,” he admits. The words come out weak and there’s a look of pity on Mark’s face that he wants to wipe off. He hates being pitied. “I like being alone. I’d prefer it, actually.” 

“Oh. Oh, okay.” There’s a beat in Mark’s voice that makes Doyoung think he’s never considered it before. “I just thought… there has to be _someone_ in your life _,_ right?”

He squints at him, leaning back on his seat as he tries to gauge. “Where are you going with this?”

“Take my dad, for example. It took him the end of the world to realize he wanted to be with someone he really cared for.”

“You’re defending your cheater of a dad?”

“Well, no, I mean, if anything, that goes for me too. I’d choose my mom over my friends, and had it been a different circumstance, I wouldn’t have done that without a doubt. It wasn’t out of morals or anything, but it was a decision I made without having to think real hard about. Is there really not anyone for you?”

Doyoung doesn’t answer. Instead, he hoists himself up as Mark watches him in awe. “This is a conversation I usually save for another day,” he says, not much hint in his voice as he picks up the plate. “Take care, Mark,” he says one last time, just before he leaves him inside the diner.

  
  


**_D-22_ **

“I don’t– I don’t need a car, Mr. Park, I–" Doyoung tails him from inside the apartment hallways down to the street where their minivan is parked.

“Just hold onto it. You might need it.”

“Mr. Park, even if I wanted to, I don’t...” _know how to drive,_ is what Doyoung wants to say, but Mr. Park is already slamming the trunk shut, with his two younglings peeking out the window, eyes deep-set as they wave goodbye at Doyoung.

He waves back hesitantly, the thought of how toddlers might think this is just another camping trip bothers him so much, how they think they’ll be back to unpack their bags and tell their friends all about their weekend adventure. Except it isn’t like another camping trip. Do they even know? Somehow, Doyoung’s not sure that’s the best option for them to hear either, so he watches as the engine revs at the side of the street, and Mr. Park drives them out of the city. To be at his mother’s side, he said.

His mother’s side.

Suddenly, Mark’s words echo. _“Is there really not anyone for you?”_ and Doyoung shakes his head, hoping it’s enough to drive his thoughts away with Mr. Park’s minivan.

“So they’re really gone, huh?”

Doyoung turns around at the voice, somewhat familiar but nothing he’s heard in a long time. He finds it to be Jaehyun, an old acquaintance back in high school. He knows they live in the same apartment complex, but since they were on two different floors, neither of them have really exchanged words in a long time, much as subtle pleasantries.

He’s definitely not how Doyoung remembers– hair that was once patchy and dyed blonde now rests as a tousled shade of brown on his head, his natural color. He’s definitely taller too, with a wider upper body that’s being accentuated by the dark apron he’s beginning to wrap off his waist. Perhaps he got off from work.

“Yeah,” Doyoung says. Maybe Jaehyun’s trying to make as many friends as he can before they all fall from the face of the earth. Unfortunately, Doyoung doesn’t really have the same sentiments. He nods at him as he begins to walk past him, a short gesture to indicate that he’ll be on his own business and he’d leave Jaehyun to his, but just as he heads back up the stairs, Jaehyun calls out to him:

“Doyoung, wait.”

He glances back, more surprised that Jaehyun remembers his name. It’s been years since they last talked, they weren’t even friends to begin with. 

“Did Mr. Park, uh, by any chance, mention what happens to the car?”

“Not really, no.” Doyoung frowns, trying to recall anything. “Why?”

"I– he's a regular at the bar I work for. Tipped me all the time, him and his wife. He said he was going to lend it to me before he left but it must’ve slipped his mind."

Doyoung's eyes immediately flicker over the keys in his clenched hand, and Jaehyun doesn't falter because he pieces things together quickly than Doyoung would've.

"I mean, he just kinda said it in passing, there wasn't any legal binding document to it but I was really hoping I could do something with–"

“I didn’t think you were close with them,” Doyoung cuts him off.

"Huh?"

“Mr. and Mrs. Park? They would’ve told me if you were. They have a tendency to overshare.”

"Oh.” Jaehyun blinks. “It… must’ve slipped their minds too, then. Like I said, they’re regulars at the bar.”

That bit is true, as far as Doyoung knows, but still, he isn’t convinced. Despite looking like nothing how Doyoung remembers him for, Jaehyun hasn’t changed one bit. The same sly, cunning Jaehyun who skipped classes and keyed their homeroom teacher’s car had kept Doyoung’s guard up all these years. Mostly why he kept his distance, he remembers. Jaehyun is a masterful con looking for the next person to fool, but sucks for him, Doyoung’s isn’t easy prey. 

“Then you must’ve known about his grandfather, then? In the retirement home four hours out of town?” he challenges.

Jaehyun nods coolly, and if Mr. Park hadn’t told Doyoung the real reason, then he’d commend Jaehyun for being such an excellent liar. “Oh, yeah. I feel bad for him, actually. Poor old man can’t process everything that’s happening. He could barely even name his grandkids, I heard.”

Doyoung looks nothing short of unimpressed. “You’re so full of shit.”

“Fuck. That was a trick question, wasn’t it?”

“The world is ending and you’re still the same, Jaehyun,” he sighs out, turning to walk the stairs that lead up to his room.

“Hey, wait–”

“I’m not giving you the car.”

“What? Why not?”

Doyoung doesn’t turn back this time. He continues walking up, not wasting any more of his time, but Jaehyun chases him behind. 

"Doyoung, c'mon. Why not? I need that car more than anything," Jaehyun says as soon as he catches up.

Doyoung furrows his brows. "What do you even plan on doing?" he asks, particularly annoyed at how Jaehyun wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

"It's a long story. I just…” Jaehyun scratches the back of his head. “I made plans with it.”

“You made plans with a car that isn’t even yours, and you even had the audacity to lie about it being entrusted to you. No.”

He would’ve thought Jaehyun would leave him alone as soon as he reaches his floor, but when Doyoung gets in front of his room, Jaehyun runs up to block the keypad by the door.

“I just really need a car,” he says one last time. “Please.”

To be fair, there really isn’t any reason for Doyoung to _keep_ the car. He could easily throw Jaehyun the key and they’d both be on their own way. As simple as that. But a part of him… a part of him wants Jaehyun to know he can’t keep getting away with it. Even if the world ends, he can’t keep having things his way.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, barely looking him in the eye. “Please move.”

**_D-19_ **

Days pass and Doyoung returns to his routine.

Mark never returned to the office. He feels bad for ending their conversation like that, but there’s no other known way to contact the kid, so Doyoung could only hope he doesn’t take it to heart. The phone no longer buzzed endlessly, no more asking about insurance refunds and life plans. Everyone seems to accept their fate, so Doyoung leaves the building earlier than planned.

Despite coming up with ways to dismiss Jaehyun’s persuasions, he never attempted to try and ask for the car again. Part of it makes Doyoung feel bad, but then again, he reminds himself why he had to do what he did. After all, it _was_ rightfully lent to him. In fact, something crazy just might happen that would end up with him needing it anyway.

Which is exactly what takes place later that evening.

First it was a loud boom, somewhere distant but enough for a few alarm systems to go off. He wouldn’t have minded it, probably just a circuit exploding somewhere, but then there’s sounds of people shrieking and glass breaking, and it makes him prop himself up from his bed before he could pass out in slumber.

He runs up to the nearest window and sees a small crowd gathering up the front door of their apartment, banging on the doors.

"Shit." Doyoung could already feel his heart starting to race. It’s a riot. He needs to get out of there fast.

He tries his best to unfreeze and grabs the empty bag sitting on his cabinet, stuffing in as much clothes as he can, a travel sized pack of toiletries, anything that he had ready for a business trip for work.

A glass shatters nearby and he knows the looters have gotten inside already. He hears cheering, screaming, more glass shattering, and car horns blaring that it’s making it hard for him to think straight. If he’s never considered the world is ending anytime soon, he surely has now.

Then there’s a loud thud from the fire escape by his window, and it jolts him by surprise. When he turns to look, it’s Jaehyun knocking hurriedly on the glass. 

“What are you doing here?” Doyoung hisses, pulling the window up.

“Can we not have this argument right now because there’s a riot going on downstairs and we’re ten minutes away from getting involved. Frankly, that’s not how I decide on dying, so grab whatever you need and let’s get out of here.”

“With what?”

“Your car!” Jaehyun urges. He keeps glancing up at the rooftop to see if they’ve been caught yet, and Doyoung hurriedly sweeps in his bag.

“The car, alright,” he mumbles, trying to remember where he left the keys because the only thing hanging by his window is the keys for his apartment. He tries not to panic as he retraces his steps, but then he’s looking over his desk, pushing a stack of pens and books until he sees the dull silver shine as if it were gold.

He clings onto it tightly, and Jaehyun motions for him to hurry up, the sounds of the ruckus getting louder and louder, making it clear that the bandits are on the same floor.

Yet, Doyoung falters.

“Hold on,” he mutters, almost in a trance. He turns his heels back to the desk, pulling the shelf open as he digs through what his mind is telling him to look for. When he couldn’t find it at first glance, he pulls the drawer out completely from the study desk, causing most of the postcards from Mr. Park’s family flying across the room. It no longer matters because in a few minutes, strangers would dig through it anyway.

“Doyoung, what are you doing? Come on!” Jaehyun shouts from the window. 

“I said wait!”

There’s a loud sound of wood smashing nearby, possibly Mr. Park’s empty apartment, and it’s clear his room is next. But Jaehyun doesn’t leave. It’s stupid, Doyoung thinks, how this guy would risk getting caught up in a riot all for a stupid thing Doyoung needs. But there’s no other way out than by car, and Jaehyun _needs_ the car, as far as he could tell. No matter how frantic he looks waiting for Doyoung to find whatever it is that he needs, he’s still there.

“Listen! I’ll drive you wherever you need to go, but we have to get out of here now.”

Then Doyoung finds it. The envelope he’s been looking for.

His eyes widen, and his hands are already moving to grab the bag he’s left unzipped on the floor, feet leading him towards the ledge as Jaehyun pulls him in without hesitation. They climb up the fire exit until they reach the roof, and Doyoung could hear his apartment door being barged open. There’s a wooing crowd from below, possibly thrashing through his stuff, flipping his bed upside down. But it doesn’t matter at this point. Jaehyun is already pulling him towards the fire exit door before he could decide that that’s already a part of his life he’s leaving behind.

-

After days of constant static since Prophet crashed, Doyoung never thought he’d get out of the city. He didn’t have any surreal plan, but apparently life gets a kick out of making a fool of him. As Jaehyun drove out of the highway, Doyoung spared the city one last glance before the horizon would take it away from him, lingering onto the memory of its skyscrapers and buildings because that’s where his whole life had been written. He’s sentimental in that sense. Which is why he never would have left. He would have been caught in that revelry, dragging Jaehyun along with him if it meant never leaving town with that letter.

“That’s what we almost died for?”

Jaehyun is the first to break the quiet. He nods at the envelope on Doyoung’s hands, now slightly wrinkled and creased, which he’s mindlessly smoothing out against his knee.

Doyoung doesn’t spare him a glance, just tries to save the letter as much as he could. “We wouldn’t have died, we’d have just been mugged.”

“Jeez, that makes me feel so much better. Thank you very much.”

It’s a bitter remark, and although Doyoung is too exhausted for a fight, he doesn’t exactly appreciate having someone he’s not in good terms with drive his only leverage. “We made a deal,” he reminds Jaehyun. “I give you the keys, you drive me wherever I need to go.”

That seems to have brought him back to his senses. “I know.”

The silence settles in again, and Doyoung couldn’t have been more thankful as he brings his attention to the window.

Jaehyun and Doyoung were never close. In fact, Doyoung knows him mostly by name– Jaehyun who punched a bully, Jaehyun who dropped honorifics on a rude teacher, Jaehyun who had three detentions in a row. They were way out of each other’s league, completely different wavelengths. Doyoung made sure to keep his hair out of trouble while Jaehyun chased it like the sun, at least that’s what he remembers him for. Taeyong always said Jaehyun was going to end up in life with something to prove.

He blinks back to the present, ignoring the way his heart is starting to sink. “I have somewhere to be.” He stashes the letter inside the glove compartment before he could cling onto it tighter and destroy it for good, like how he just wants to rip the weight off his chest right now.

Jaehyun glances at him quick enough and he must’ve noticed Doyoung’s sudden discomfort, yet he doesn’t ask. “Okay,” he says instead, nodding. “Where to?”

“West Hook.”

“West Hook?” To be honest, Doyoung saw it coming. West Hook was on the other end of the map, a six-hour plane ride that no sane person has ever attempted to drive cross-country unless the intention was to have the longest road trip of their life. Unfortunately, when there’s an asteroid slamming to obliterate the Earth in a few days, wasting time isn’t exactly an option Jaehyun is considering. “That’s quite a drive.”

“So can you get me there or not?”

Jaehyun lets out a laugh, one breath of a huff. “Jesus, easy on me, will you? It’s no problem, I can take you there. Counting a few stops, we’ll be at West Hook in maybe... three, four days?”

Four days. That’s not so bad. He has four days to come up with something and that’s it. Doyoung nods, swallowing the lump on his throat. “The car’s yours after.”

“Really?”

“Just take me there. I wouldn’t need it afterwards.”

-

Doyoung never realizes he dozed off until Jaehyun is shaking him awake. "Hm?" he lets out a noise. He's leaned against the car door, grunting as he blinks his eyes open from a dreamless sleep, and that's when he sees that it's in the hours of twilight.

He hasn't been away from the city in a long time to catch sight of an unpolluted sky, and it scares him at first, never realizing just how bright a cloudless night could be once it's littered with stars. It's hard to imagine it being the very same sky that will fall soon.

"I feel like I'm gonna pass out anytime soon. Is it okay if you drive for a bit?"

Doyoung pulls himself up from the window. Suddenly, the idea of admitting he doesn't know how to causes a lump in the back of his throat.

"Highway's a straight drive ahead. You won't be taking an exit in the next three hours, don't worry, I'd be awake by then." Jaehyun reaches over to unclip his seatbelt for him, causing him to slightly tense when Jaehyun’s fingers brush over his waist.

"Wait, Jaehyun,” he calls after him as soon as he composes himself “I… I don't know how."

He blinks back at Doyoung, stopping at a beat before he gets to unclip his own seatbelt. “Are you serious?”

“Never needed a reason to,” Doyoung mumbles, shrugging.

"You wouldn't let me take the car but you had no idea how to drive?"

"Hey! In my defense, you lied about Mr. Park lending it to you first. How was that supposed to earn my trust?"

"Still! I could've dr–" Their voices were starting to rise over the other, and Jaehyun sighs. Doyoung knows he's holding back from letting this all out tonight when he's deadbeat tired. And to be fair, he’s not in a mood to have an argument either. "You know what? Nevermind. There's an inn we could crash into in the next stop. Let's stay over until sunrise. I need to rest my eyes."

And Doyoung doesn’t speak, only puts his seatbelt back on.

He dreads the ten straight minutes on the way to an old-looking motel that looks straight out of a horror movie. It doesn’t help that the neon sign that says ‘Hello’ spells out as ‘Hell’ instead and Doyoung could only wish he doesn’t die then and there. With how silent Jaehyun is on the entire ride, maybe he should consider otherwise.

On the bright side, most of the rooms are unoccupied. The receptionist, who’s busy chatting on her phone, doesn't seem like she cares about whoever's stepping in to take a room, so the two of them wordlessly agree on crashing in the ones across each other.

“Jae–” Doyoung starts, but Jaehyun is already shutting on his door before they could discuss what happens tomorrow. Doyoung would be annoyed, but he lets this one slide. Jaehyun really hadn't changed. Back in high school, his temperament had always been unpredictable. One moment he’s surrounded by a clique, and the next is he’s sitting in the back of the room, barely looking anyone in the eye. He’s always been difficult to read, even for someone as sure and confident as Doyoung. 

_“He’s a closed book,”_ Taeyong told him before. It was when they caught sight of him stepping out of the counselor’s office, hood over his head to hide a bruised cheek as he passed by them without question. _“I don’t think he has a solid group of friends, he comes and goes.”_

Doyoung never really cared. The chances of Jaehyun crossing his mind was less often than him getting a grade lower than an A. Jaehyun to him was nothing more than background noise up until he went to college. It was odd enough to find him living in the same apartment building when he moved away for college, but it didn’t matter because they weren’t on the same floor anyway. Other than arguing over ownership for Mr. Park’s sedan, the only time they’ve ever held a conversation was when a letter got wrongfully sent to Jaehyun’s mailbox.

The same letter that’s on the glove compartment right now.

It snaps Doyoung back to his senses, realizing he’s been staring at the ceiling of his room. The smell of something moldy causes him to scrunch his nose, but he tries his best to brush it aside. It’s a long way to go, but he’ll be in West Hook in no time. That’s what Mark wants out of him, right? To wait it out with the first person his heart is set to. So he will. It won’t be long until he will.

Then he shuts his eyes, hoping he wouldn’t dream about the memory that’s currently lingering.

**_D-18_ **

When Doyoung gets ready for the day, he never really expected Jaehyun to be ahead of him, already waiting at the parking lot as he leans against the hood of the car. He never really expected him to be carrying a pack of cigarettes either, but there he is, halfway through a stick that burns in his hand. It would surprise Doyoung to find this fact about him, but then again, Doyoung never really knew much about him to begin with. 

When Jaehyun finally sees him, he drags in one long breath from his stick just before he flicks it on the asphalt and crushes it with his shoe. “That’s a bad habit,” Doyoung comments as he steps nearer, and Jaehyun only snickers.

“That’s a great impression of my mom. I had no idea you two met already.”

Doyoung frowns at the tease, but before he could reach out to open the car door, Jaehyun is already shutting it with the weight of his back.

“Uh-uh,” he shakes his head. “You. Driver’s seat.”

Doyoung blinks back at him. “Were you not there for the argument last night?” He’s trying his best not to sound irritated first thing in the morning, but Jaehyun isn’t exactly making this easy for him.

“You’re driving, and I’m teaching you.”

He pauses, letting out a short laugh, but Jaehyun doesn’t look like he’s kidding. “What for?” he asks. “I wouldn’t even need the skill for long. We’re wasting time.”

“We’re not wasting time,” Jaehyun counters. “With you learning how to drive a stick, we can switch whenever one of us gets tired. It’ll get you to West Hook faster. You want that, right?”

To be fair, it makes sense. Doyoung does want to get to West Hook faster, and he wants to be out of Jaehyun’s company as quickly as time would allow. The two of them could quickly move on with each of their lives, be where they both needed to be, and with the hours slowly counting down, there isn’t any time to lose.

“Right,” Doyoung mutters, and Jaehyun lets out a satisfied smile.

  
-

"Okay, so remember: leftmost is clutch, middle is brakes, then right is gas. Clutch, brakes, gas. You remember what to do when you’re shifting gears, right?"

For the past three hours, Jaehyun had been hellbent on teaching Doyoung the basics that he needs to get him by. It was the most Doyoung has ever heard him speak, and surprisingly, he was easily adaptable to Doyoung’s quick agitation. (We’re going to die!” Doyoung wailed when the engine stalls for the nth time. “No, we’re not, Doyoung. Stop overthinking.”)

It took awhile for him to find the right rhythm, and after a few engine stalls and unintended accelerations, Doyoung was finally able to get the hang of it. Which leads them to now: Jaehyun finally prepping him to drive on the highway for real– his ceremonious launch as a certified stick shift driver.

“Just remember to let go of the clutch unless you’re shifting, otherwise you’re frying the engine. That’s very important. Got it?”

Doyoung clips his seatbelt on, glancing back at Jaehyun beside him as he gives his final pep talk. "You don't care about West Hook. You just want the car as soon as you can, don't you?"

"Focus, Doyoung. Your life is on the line." There's a small smile that follows it, but Jaehyun answers back quietly, tipping his head in a short nod. "I made plans for the end of the world. I hope to be there to wait it out." He doesn’t say more, only reaches out for the keys as he turns the ignition on for him.

Doyoung isn't sure if it's supposed to sound like a hacking cough, but the car is visibly old and beat-up to sound like anything else, so he flips through the mental checklist in his memory and grips on the handbrake to unlock it. 

"Where are you waiting it out?" he asks as the car begins to move.

"Ravenwood."

"What's in Ravenwood?"

“I suggest you put your attention on the road before you drive us straight towards a rail.”

Doyoung lets out a laugh, the sound of Jaehyun’s worried voice equally new and satisfying for him to hear just because he’s never really heard it before. For some reason, it makes him sound unguarded. Human. Like he could've been an actual friend from the past. “Don’t you have faith in me?” 

“I do, I just don’t want to answer your question.” He reaches his hand to the steering wheel to place it on top of Doyoung’s, and he must’ve caught the surprised look on Doyoung’s face, because he adds, “Don’t grip on it so hard. Your knuckles are turning white.”

So Doyoung loosens, flexing his fingers as the car slowly speeds up and he shifts from first to second gear. There’s growing confidence in him as time passes and the engine hasn’t died, and Doyoung soon comes to realize that maybe driving isn’t so bad after all. Although he still couldn’t help keep glancing at the odometer, which Jaehyun always catches him doing despite repeatedly being told not to.

“You’re doing it again.”

“You said shift gears when it reaches a certain speed,” Doyoung reasons.

“There’s no need to strictly follow that, you just have to–” Jaehyun motions his hands vaguely, trying to find the right words, “–feel it.”

Doyoung scoffs. _“Feel it?”_

“You’re on third gear now, and slowing down would mean you’d shift to second, then completely stopping would mean first. You see what I mean?”

“No, not really.”

“I–” Jaehyun sighs. There really is no point in arguing. “Well, you’re doing great, I’ll give you that. No one’s scoring you for technicality points here, so you don’t have to worry about not doing it perfectly.”

Doyoung would say that he’d have trouble keeping that mindset. All his life, he’s always thrived towards perfection, but none of that matters anymore. All the accomplishments he had achieved in school and all the praises his boss has given him at work, none of it matters when it would all boil down to the inevitable. He’s lost all sense of fulfillment that driving all the way to West Hook is the only way he could satisfy what’s felt of there is, and if it meant shifting gears at exactly the right amount of speed, then he’d try his very best.

“So what did you do before all this anyway?” Jaehyun asks, almost like he’s helping him loosen up.

Doyoung hesitates before answering, testing to see how he could focus on the wheel while keeping conversation. “I’m a– _was_ … a life insurance agent.”

The answer seems to amuse Jaehyun more than he thought it would. “You’re joking.” And when Doyoung doesn’t bother answering, he bursts out laughing. Cackling out a guttural noise as he bellies over his seat.

“It’s not that funny.”

“Yeah, it is! That’s ironic as hell.” When he realizes Doyoung isn’t finding it as humorous as it is, he sighs. “Okay, fine. I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I think life insurance is sexy.”

That, at least, brings out a pathetic smile on Doyoung’s face.

Jaehyun supposedly takes that as a cue they’ve broken a brick out of their walls, so he gets comfortable. He moves forward in his seat as his hands start fidgeting over the glove compartment, and Doyoung begins to panic.

“Hey, hey. What are you doing?” he asks, worried Jaehyun might gain sudden interest over the letter he’s kept hidden inside.

“Digging through Mr. Park’s stuff for something interesting.”

“There’s nothing in there. I checked.”

“Well, let me check again.” Then the drawer clicks open.

“Jaehyun!”

Doyoung slams on the brakes too quickly that the engine dies without notice. Thankfully, there aren’t any other cars behind them, because the momentum sends Jaehyun almost flying out of his seat if not for the seatbelt restraining his body.

“Jesus, what is wrong with you?” he asks, wincing from the pain of the seatbelt.

“I said there’s nothing in there.”

That, of course, doesn’t stop Jaehyun from finding what Doyoung has been trying to hide. The letter sits inside the compartment, making it obviously stand out with its fancy golden seal. He frowns as he unclips his seatbelt, rubbing at a sore spot on his waist. “You know you’ve almost had me killed twice for that thing?”

“Well, don’t touch it,” Doyoung says, reaching over to slam the compartment shut.

Jaehyun raises both of his hands to show that he won’t, but the annoyed look on his face doesn’t go away. “Get up, I’m driving. It’s time we get you to West Hook for good.”

And Doyoung stays still for a moment until he decides to unclip his own seatbelt, opening his car door to do as told. 

  
-

The hours pass by and neither of them make another attempt at a friendly conversation. So far, it’s always ended with them arguing, so it doesn’t hurt that they opted for silence. Apart from the breeze of the open window, the only other thing occupying the dead air is the rumbling of the car, somehow louder than the last time Doyoung noticed it.

“Is that how it’s supposed to go?” he asks, and Jaehyun trying to suppress a worried look is enough of an answer for him.

As if on cue, the car suddenly rumbles louder, hacking out another abrupt noise until it slows them down on the empty highway. The lights from the odometer switch off and Jaehyun calmly restarts it, revving it a few more times until it starts to fail, ultimately giving up on them.

“No,” Doyoung mutters, and Jaehyun tries again to no avail, shrugging. “No...” he whines one more time, hanging his head outside the open window, wishing there were actually cars running by quick enough to behead him and get this life over with.

  
-

When Doyoung packed his bags that night the riot happened, it never really occurred to him he was bringing with him the rest of what his life would become– a few clean underwear, oversized shirts that Taeyong used to tease him for _(“You’re literally drowning in that t-shirt.” “It’s comfortable!”),_ and some toiletries he’s always kept inside the duffel. Not really meant for unexpected riots, but hey, it came in handy.

As soon as the car died in the middle of the highway, there was no choice but to walk foot to the nearest stop. The skies were turning a warm shade of orange, a clear sign it wouldn’t be long until sundown. They couldn’t risk being stranded at night with barely any shelter, so both of them agreed it was best to call it a day.

Doyoung doesn’t know how long they’ve been walking, really. Only when his shoulder starts to ache from the duffel bag hanging on him does he consider that maybe they’ve been at it for a while now. He doesn’t even realize he’s been holding the unsealed letter with him for this long now until Jaehyun points it out.

“I gave you that,” he says, the first words breaking the silence of their journey. Perhaps he’s getting bored. Doyoung looks to his right where Jaehyun trails a few feet away, a safe distance to not cause intrusion like the last time. “It was inside my mailbox. I went to your door and handed it to you.”

Doyoung nods, recalling the trivial encounter. “You remember that?” It isn’t something worth storing in one’s memory, especially not Jaehyun’s, so he couldn’t help but wonder.

“How could I not when you won’t let go of it to this day?”

He lets out a snicker that matches Jaehyun’s. Slowly, their walls begin to break again. “It’s a letter from Taeyong,” Doyoung says, plain and simple. He figures Jaehyun would remember who Taeyong is. Taeyong has always been kind to him anyway.

“Your roommate?” 

The question makes Doyoung tilt his head back up at him again. He never expected Jaehyun would remember him for that, so he shakes his head. “He hasn’t been for a while now,” he says, voice small.

“I was wondering where he went. I haven’t seen him in the building for a long time.”

“He got married. Moved,” Doyoung answers as he tries to keep the same simplistic tone he had from earlier. But it isn’t so simple, is it? Because that’s what this trip is about in the first place. That’s what Doyoung badly wants to chase. “...to West Hook.”

He knows it stuns Jaehyun too as he feels him look up at him from his peripheral, piecing things together. “Oh,” but Doyoung keeps his eyes on his feet, drowning himself from the sudden quiet.

It wasn’t the fondest memory– watching Taeyong pack his things away. Maybe he even slipped in one or two of Doyoung’s oversized shirts, but Doyoung didn’t stop him. It was particularly hard to distinguish who owns what when they slept in the same bed. It wasn’t that they did anything more than that. Hell, Doyoung _wanted_ more, but it was too late when Johnny swooped Taeyong over his feet before Doyoung ever could.

Taeyong leaving was never news for Doyoung. He knew it would happen sooner or later, when Johnny would finally ask him to move in with him from across the state. He’d hear stories every night about him, and every single time he'd watch Taeyong’s eyes light up whenever he tells Doyoung about the tall, charming TA who’s been dying to ask him out from work.

The two of them slept by their side, facing the other. It was never weird because they’ve had enough sleepovers in high school to get used to each other’s skin. But now that they were fresh out of uni, Doyoung wondered how often this happened to best friends– to sleep side by side and have one of them spill their heart out over a newfound love, while the other secretly hopes it was him to begin with.

From outside his thoughts, the warm skies gradually shift into darkness and that’s when he brings himself back. Still, no car has passed by for them to hitch a ride. They have to spend another night at the next inn they see, and Doyoung’s days were getting shorter and shorter. He only hopes he could make it to Taeyong in time.

“You know, you don’t have to come with me all this way," he says. It isn't harsh, nor is it dismissive, but Doyoung is tired. He doesn't want to drag Jaehyun into his personal mess any further. "The car's broken. The deal’s done."

Jaehyun doesn’t seem to take offense, but he stays quiet, as if studying the baggage Doyoung carries in his heart. Doyoung wants to wipe the look of pity off his face, reminding him of the same gaze Mark had given him before.

“No offense, but I still need a car,” Jaehyun mutters loud enough for him to hear. When Doyoung looks back, a chuckle escapes his lips, and somehow… Somehow, it makes him feel okay.

  
-

The next inn they find isn't as generous with free rooms as the first one. Had they stopped by three hours earlier, they could've easily claimed a bed on their own, but right now, just two hours before midnight, they were only able to find one unlocked door.

Jaehyun makes a sour face as soon as he creaks the door open. It isn't that he caught strangers in the act, but of what they left. There's spilled beer cans all over the musty rug, a half-made bed, hair strands all over the bedsheets, and if Doyoung is seeing it right, then an untied condom on top of the desk.

"Well, it's this or nothing," Jaehyun says under his breath, stepping in to claim it.

Doyoung, still outside the door that separates the hallway from the room, looks nothing short of horrified. "Can't we just keep walking?"

"We've been walking for hours. Let's tidy it up, crash, and get going as soon as we wake."

It is, of course, the most logical thing they could do, so Doyoung doesn't argue. As soon as he braces himself inside, he drops his bag on a safe spot of a chair, then starts to claim the duty of picking up cans from the floor. Jaehyun gets to work too, getting rid of the bedsheets and dumping them outside the hallway. Doyoung doesn't usually get a good night's sleep without any bedding, but judging by what transpired in this room, then maybe his lifestyle could bend a few rules.

He doesn't even bother taking responsibility in cleaning out whatever's left of the desk. He busies himself by taking the initiative of throwing filled-out bags down the disposal, and when he returns, to his surprise, the rest of the room is already tidied up. He doesn’t spot Jaehyun, though, and that's when he notices the water running from inside the shower. As he turns to look, Jaehyun steps out– damp hair, a freshly washed face, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. It hangs just below his navel that Doyoung catches sight of a happy trail.

"Oh!" he yelps, turning his heels almost instantly. He obviously does not remember Jaehyun looking this toned, and his cheeks start to burn. From behind him, Jaehyun laughs, and Doyoung still refuses to turn so he shuts the door instead, keeping his eyes glued to the wall. “Jesus, you scared me.”

_Since when was Jaehyun this toned?_

"Heater's still on, you should take one while it is."

"Will you get dressed first?"

"Since you asked so nicely, sure."

Doyoung couldn’t help but scowl.

  
-

Sleeping beside Jaehyun doesn’t give him the same prickling feeling he got whenever Taeyong did each night. Still, Doyoung couldn’t sleep. He’d like to think it’s the lack of sheets, so his body turns over and over until he finds a comfortable position.

“Please stop moving,” Jaehyun groans behind him when he turns one last time. Doyoung looks back at him, eyes closed with furrowed brows, and yet he seems significantly more comfortable than he is.

“This isn’t exactly five-star material.”

It makes Jaehyun chuckle, and Doyoung watches as a curve slowly turns upward on his lips. When he flutters his eyes open, Doyoung looks away. It isn’t that he feels something for Jaehyun, but the situation was hauntingly familiar, so he turns to lie on his back, propping his hands on his stomach as he tries not to manifest Taeyong’s body as the person beside his own.

“I always had a hunch,” Jaehyun mumbles, saving him from the hassle. It almost isn’t enough for Doyoung to hear if not for the quiet. “When you two moved in, I always thought you were together. You just seemed inseparable.”

Jaehyun isn’t the first person to say that, of course. People knew. People _asked,_ but both he and Taeyong brushed it off their shoulders like it was the silliest joke. Maybe he shouldn’t have. If he spoke, then maybe Taeyong would never have moved away. Maybe he wouldn’t be clinging on to a letter dated over two years ago, a wedding invitation personally handwritten for him to come. Matched with a confession of not knowing if he was ever making the right call.

“He was doubting,” Doyoung says, and he feels Jaehyun move his head beside him. “In that letter, he was second-guessing if he was doing the right thing. Getting married.”

“Why do you think he was doubting?”

Doyoung shrugs.

“And you never said anything?”

Shakes his head. "Nope."

“So he went ahead and did it?”

“...Yep,” he finally admits in defeat. If he spoke, then maybe he wouldn’t be chasing his days down like a timebomb, trying to get things right before it reaches the last second.

"People do crazy things at the end of the world,” Jaehyun suggests slowly, as if treading to see if he’s crossed a line or not. His hands gesture vaguely around the room. “This sex den, for one.”

It’s enough to make Doyoung smile, and Jaehyun almost looks pleased he managed to get that out of him. “Go to sleep, Jaehyun,” he says, turning his back on him again as he pulls his knees up for warmth. “We have a long way to go.”

**_D-17_ **

For the remainder of the new day, the two of them have successfully hitched a handful of rides, even for just a few miles west. At most is that they’d find unsuspicious strangers and ask to be dropped off to the next gasoline station, try to hitch another ride and repeat. Not the most convenient, but it saves them from wasting hours on foot. 

A few hours later, they decide to stop a little longer in a convenience store while Jaehyun looks for a toilet. Most of its contents have already been looted, but Doyoung manages to scurry a few cups of ramen from the deep edges of the shelves, and with a satisfied grin, he stacks them all inside his bag, content in knowing it's enough to feed them for a few days.

From outside the store, he notices a pick-up truck pull up, and out steps out someone from the passenger seat. He lands his feet in the ground, bits of his platinum hair cascading on his face which he tries to push back. Another person jumps off the cargo from the back, and has hair just as eye-catching, a fiery shade of red that's cropped neatly, but he's not looking as thrilled as Platinum Blonde as he rubs at his hip, most likely from sitting at the back of the truck.

"Jungwoo, I told you to slow down to a fucking road bump!" whines Red Hair, and out comes Jungwoo from the driver's seat, at least Doyoung assumes he is, and he's smiling unapologetically, as if he's thrilled to know that his driving has caused major hip problems for at least one of them.

"My bad," he replies, slamming the car door shut as they head straight towards the store. He doesn’t look so sorry at all.

There's no point in hiding, because Platinum Blonde spots Doyoung through the glass before they could even enter, and although he wasn't really expecting to be shot dead on sight, he never really thought he'd be met with enthusiasm by a band of strangers either.

"Oh, hey! Look!" Platinum Blonde glees, and his friends are quick to see where he's pointing. Doyoung stays standing, and the three guys run up to him from inside, not even bothering to ask his name because the first thing that escapes Jungwoo's lips are:

"Are you headed to Ravenwood, too?"

He responds with a blink and an open mouth. It's the same place Jaehyun intends to go to. “Sorry?” he manages to let out.

The three friends look at each other, and Jungwoo reluctantly answers. “Didn’t you hear the rumors?”

“What rumors?” Doyoung doesn't bother hiding his confusion.

“There’s an underground vault that’s said to outlive the asteroid. Save the humanity or some shit," Red Hair says. "That’s where most folks are headed to. Well, if they make it before it closes. Where are you headed anyway?”

Before Doyoung could respond, he feels a grab on his wrist from behind him, yanking him away. He looks back to find that it's Jaehyun, and he's pulling Doyoung behind him, tightening his grip that Doyoung starts to wince and wedge himself free. "What's wrong with you?" he hisses, rubbing at his wrist.

"What's wrong with _you?_ You're being cornered by three guys and you don't seem to care."

"Whoa, whoa, time out," Platinum Blonde cuts off, hands up to signal that they have no ill intentions. "We were just asking where he's headed. And for the record, we had no idea he was with someone. I'm Yuta–" he motions to his friends, who look much more horrified at the sudden turn of events, "–this is Taeil, Jungwoo. We're harmless, and we're not here to start a fight either."

"Yeah, none of us know how to throw a punch," Taeil adds. "Trust me, we've tried."

Jungwoo snorts, elbowing Taeil's ribs that it sends him bellying over. He doesn't seem to care about that either.

Jaehyun still looks hesitant, a little more hostile than he should be, which Doyoung doesn't understand, because for the past strangers they've come across, he wasn't this guarded at all. Maybe it's because this gang of friends are somewhat younger, nearer their age group, and Jaehyun knows a little too well when someone is trouble.

"I'm Doyoung," he starts, and receives a dissatisfied look from Jaehyun in return. "That's Jaehyun. He's on his way to Ravenwood, too."

Jungwoo's eyes light up. "He is?" Oh, that's great, you guys should come with us! We have to hurry though, the vault's closing in a few days."

Jaehyun’s eyes haven’t left Doyoung, and he doesn’t deny that it’s getting particularly harder to read him by the day. “What?” Doyoung shrugs. “You said you needed to get there, right?”

  
-

The ride is mostly quiet, if not for Jungwoo constantly filling up the dead air from the cargo. It’s Yuta who’s driving this time, and Taeil takes the liberty of napping in the passenger seat beside him, which leaves the three of them at the back, trying to sit as comfortably as possible for the duration of the long ride. Then again, Doyoung can’t complain if it means not having to walk on foot for the next few hours.

“–then we decided to say fuck it and just head where the majority of people are going, you know? It wouldn’t hurt to try checking if it’s true,” Jungwoo rambles, mostly to himself. “Honestly, I personally think the vault’s real. I’ve watched a documentary about Ravenwood once, it’s been pretty low profile ever since, but there’s always been conspiracies about the townspeople building a vault for decades. I mean, no wonder people care so much to see it for themselves, right?”

Before either of them could answer, the car slowly pulls to a stop. Doyoung looks back at the road to see that they’ve pulled over another gasoline station, and he watches as Yuta slams the car seat shut, stretching his limbs.

Jungwoo drags out a sigh. “This is our fifth stop for the day. No wonder it’s taking us so long to get there,” he says, although there’s no real malice in his voice.

“Man, shut up. That car seat is too much of a pain and my ass is numb,” Yuta groans, making his way inside the convenience store. “I’m gonna take a leak. Be right back.” 

“You know what? I’m gonna empty out too,” Jungwoo mumbles, scooting over to the edge, although it’s not information either of them really needed to hear. “Just in case he uses it against me the next time we pull over. Which is like, in the next twenty minutes, if we’re being real.”

He hops off the truck, leaving Doyoung and Jaehyun behind. The stillness looms quicker than Doyoung anticipated and he never thought he’d say it, but from thereon, he wishes Jungwoo wouldn’t have left so soon.

He watches as Jaehyun starts to lie down thanks to the newly-freed space.

“Man, that Jungwoo guy doesn’t shut up,” he laughs to himself. His head rests against his bag which he’s turned into a makeshift pillow, accompanied by the arm he swings right under. Then he shuts his eyes.

"So when were you planning on telling me about this underground vault?" Doyoung suddenly asks. He doesn’t mean for it to come off so hurt, but it turns out that way.

"To be fair, everything people are saying about it are rumors,” Jaehyun murmurs, eyes still closed. “Besides, I'm not going to Ravenwood _because_ of the vault. It's a rave destination. Surviving or not, there’s going to be booze, music, dancing. It's going to be an end of the world party and if I happen to witness the earth fall, then I’d like my last days to resemble a good life."

"That's where you plan on waiting it out? Wasted with a bunch of strangers?"

Jaehyun tilts his head at him, finally opening his eyes. "Sorry to break it to you, but I'm not really a sentimental guy."

"What about your family?"

Jaehyun falters. "I haven't talked to them in years. They won’t care.” He turns his head back up at the skies to switch conversation. “You shouldn’t have hitched a ride with these people. West Hook is off-route, a few hundred miles further. This ride’s not enough for you to get there but I can show you where you can stop and get another.”

Somehow, the idea that Jaehyun would eventually have to leave him behind has only begun to sink. _‘You’re leaving me?’_ is the first question that comes to Doyoung’s mind, and he shakes it off before it could be read off his face. Jaehyun has no obligation taking him to West Hook. If anything, he’s doing more than he should by even guiding him where to go. 

He opts for a question instead. "So you’re really going to Ravenwood… while not being completely sure if this vault’s real or not?" 

“I’m taking my chance,” Jaehyun says simply. “You gotta risk before you find out what’s out there. If it is, great. If it isn’t, fine– I still get to have the time of my life until the clock stops ticking.” He must’ve noticed the disagreeing silence from Doyoung, so he adds: “Look, we all have our reasons. I’m not questioning yours, so you don’t have to worry about mine.”

Doyoung shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t. Jaehyun is nothing more to him than a stranger, a person who just so happens to escape the city with him. He shouldn’t have to care where Jaehyun chooses to wait it out, it’s none of his business.

“I don’t,” he says quietly.

Yet somehow, Doyoung isn’t so sure if he believes it himself.

  
-

Growing up in the city meant Doyoung never had a reason to leave. Taeyong almost succeeded in persuading him once on a camping trip before, but it was never his thing, and Doyoung has always been too stubborn to not get what he wants. He liked the comfort of home– the densely populated business district, the rush hour. He never strayed too far from familiarity. Never crossed a path he was never used to.

Maybe that's why he never stopped Taeyong from moving away either– baring his heart out was something he just never did. Between the two of them, he's always been the one who listened, never the one who initiated conversation. Even when Taeyong sent him the letter, implying he doesn’t know if he’s making the right choices, Doyoung never made a move.

He let chances pass by and now he’s the one making up for lost time.

“There you are.”

He turns to the sudden creak of the rooftop door and finds Jungwoo. He’s been cooped up in a newfound high ground ever since they found a place to stay. Jaehyun started warming up to the rest of them when he found out that Yuta and Taeil also smoke, and although Doyoung will never understand the bond that comes with it, he’s at least happy he’s finally let his guard down.

“Everyone’s been looking for you. We thought you ran off or something.” Jungwoo makes his way, sitting by the edge of the roof alongside him.

“They were smoking. I hated the smell.”

“I don’t smoke either. Sadly for me, it’s two against one. I kept telling them it kills and they’d never bat an eye.”

Doyoung hums. “Come to think of it, maybe I should. We’re all dying the same time anyway.”

It makes Jungwoo laugh, cheeks creasing from his smile while he kicks off his dangling legs. “There’s hope in Ravenwood, you know,” he says, but even he knows Doyoung has already made his mind up on where to go. “What happened between you two?”

“Us two?” Doyoung frowns.

“You and Jaehyun. Did you two break up? Is that why you’re not joining him?”

Doyoung’s eyes widen, mouth gaping open as he shakes his head frantically. “We– we’re not together that way. He’s–” he laughs, like it’s the most ridiculous thing he could ever hear, “he’s not even my friend.”

Unfortunately for him, Jungwoo seems to see something he can’t. “Uh-huh. The way he got all protective over you at the store sure says you’re not friends.”

“We’re–” Doyoung sighs. Hopefully his cheeks aren’t as red as he thinks they are. “He’s a person I knew from the city before it got overrun. I’ve spent the last few days with him trying to flee east, but we don’t know each other more than that.”

“I think he cares for you,” Jungwoo says simply. “Like, he looks out for you and stuff.”

“You must be reading things wrong then because we know nothing about each other.”

Doyoung looks away, focusing his gaze on the parking lot a storey below him. From the distance, he catches sight of the three– huddled around a curb while they smoked. Somehow, Taeil says something inaudible and the two others burst out laughing while they share a light. Jaehyun throws his head back, an arm clutching at his stomach, and Doyoung has never seen him laugh so much that he could hear it from afar.

It’s a side of him Doyoung wishes he could see more of.

“I’ll sleep in the car for the night,” Jungwoo says, interrupting his thoughts.

Doyoung looks back at him. “I told you I wouldn’t mind sharing a bed with you,” and a knowing smile creeps over Jungwoo’s face.

“He told me he’d sleep better if you two were in the same room.”

“Jaehyun?”

Jungwoo only heaves out a chuckle, finally getting up on his feet. “You’re denser than you look, Doyoung.”

“Hey!”

“We leave tomorrow at sunrise.” Jungwoo makes his way to the door, ignoring him with a short wave. “Have a good night.”

-

_ Hey Doie, _

_ I know we haven’t talked in a while, but yeah– I’m finally getting married. It’s crazy, right? We always said we’d grow old together, just the two of us in a nursing home the same how we’ve lived for years. Now here we are. _

_ Johnny proposed a little over a month ago, and we’ve been planning the wedding for weeks… Well, mostly him. He was the one who sent the rest of the invitations. It’s not like everyone got a personalized note, but I couldn’t just send you without one, you know? _

_ Anyway, I know I’m starting to ramble so I’ll just get my point across as best as I can. _

_ I’d want you to be there. Not just as a guest,  _ ~~_but_~~ _ but I want to know if you think I’m doing the right thing. To be honest, I don’t know if I am, and  _ ~~_you’re_~~ _ you’ve always been the one good at making decisions for me, so I figured you’d know what to say. _

_ I don’t know what to do, Do. I mean, I love Johnny  _ ~~_and I_~~ _ but I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. Just be there, please. Please. So I could make up my mind. Or answer my calls, anything, just please talk to me. I think it goes without saying that I miss you too, so let me know if you get this letter. _

_ My door’s always open for you. _

_ – Yong _

-

**_D-15_ **

Two days have passed since they’ve hitched a ride with the three. Although Doyoung would’ve complained about the clock ticking down day by day, he couldn’t help but give out a silent thanks that he’s not on Taeyong’s doorstep just yet. There never has been an elaborate speech planned on his head once he’s there, and for the meantime, he’s enjoying everyone else’s company.

Including Jaehyun’s.

They stopped by a rollerskating rink just outside the highway of a nearby town. Jungwoo was the one who spotted most of the advertisements and figured they’d take a little detour. Of course, he didn’t need to get the general consensus when he’s the one behind the wheel, so whether they like it or not, off to the skating rink they were headed.

Doyoung sits by the back of the truck, legs dangling off as he watches the three friends struggle to keep their balance up on the rink, their cackles echoing miles across.

“You’re not joining them?”

It’s Jaehyun. He’s back from a lone cigarette break, hoisting himself up the truck to close the space between their shoulders. There’s plenty of room for the both of them, but even Doyoung would agree that for the past few days, they’ve gotten quite used to sticking by each other’s side.

“I don’t know how to skate.”

They watch as Yuta clings onto Jungwoo for dear life in the middle of the ring, but suddenly loses his grip when Jungwoo accidentally shoves his arm away, and it sends Yuta falling losing his balance and falling flat on his ass that even Doyoung and Jaehyun flinch just by watching. 

“Well, looks like neither do they,” Jaehyun mumbles.

Doyoung laughs, genuine and amused because it’s not always does Jaehyun manage to get that satisfaction out of him, yet somehow he always catches Doyoung off-guard.

Then suddenly, a thought passes Doyoung. Maybe they really could’ve been great friends back in school. Maybe he and Taeyong could’ve helped Jaehyun, influenced him to stop skipping classes, or getting detention twice a week.

“I never saw your parents before,” he says mindlessly, because it’s only by then does Doyoung start to recall.

Jaehyun has always been alone, without much guidance from anyone. Taeyong was right when he said that Jaehyun comes and goes. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to take care of his own, but maybe it would’ve been different had Doyoung initiated a friendship early on.

Jaehyun nods, as if there’s nothing to hide. “That’s because I didn’t grow up in the city. At least, not with them.”

“I remember. You were the new kid in freshman year.”

Nods again. “I begged them to let me move out, and they said yes at the promise of me going to university. My parents paid for everything– my plane ticket out of that town, my rent, my bills. They’d send me money thinking I was using it to save up for uni applications, and I never did. I bailed. I knew they’d find out sooner or later, but I made up my mind as soon as they let me go. They’ve been upset about it ever since.”

“Jaehyun...”

“It was just something I never saw myself in.” He shrugs, unapologetic. “On the bright side, at least Hyuck didn't go down the same route, so that’s one less disappointment for my parents.”

Doyoung turns his head, curiosity mapped all over his face. This is the most Jaehyun has ever opened up to him, and the last speculation Doyoung would’ve had is him having a brother.

“My younger brother,” Jaehyun confirms. “He’s smarter, more responsible. Basically the polar opposite of me. I guess he saw me fuck up one too many times to figure out the right thing to do.”

Doyoung shakes his head, almost too quick and eager to let him know he’s wrong. “No one knows the right thing to do,” he lets out silently. Because the truth is, neither does he. Neither did Taeyong. Jaehyun may have burnt a bridge between his family, but would he have done differently? Doyoung couldn’t really blame him because maybe as much as how alone he is, all he wants is to be surrounded. Even if it meant moving out of a small town to the big city, or waiting it out with people he doesn’t even know.

 _‘I don’t even know if I’m doing the right thing either,’_ Doyoung wants to add, but stops himself short. He doesn’t want it to seem like he’s in the dark with where he’s at, especially now that they’ve gotten this far. A few more days and they’ll reach Ravenwood, and Doyoung would finally be on his own to Taeyong’s door. He did write that it’s open for him anytime, and that’s the only thing keeping Doyoung from backing away.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

  
-

**_D-12_ **

This time it’s Jaehyun behind the wheel, and Doyoung accompanies him in the passenger seat beside a snoozing Jungwoo, who’s resting his head over his shoulder. Perhaps he’s drooling too, but Doyoung figures he shouldn’t wake him up after driving seven hours straight not long ago. It’s his well-deserved rest after all.

“Who knew the only way we could shut him up is if we made him drive all night long?” Jaehyun jokes after throwing a quick glance between the both of them.

Doyoung lets out a grumble, looking back on his misery every time it was Jungwoo’s turn to drive. “At the expense of sudden breaks every ten minutes? Don’t quite think I’d take you up on that.”

“Oooh, look at you.” He watches Jaehyun’s eyes light up beside him, and while Doyoung hasn’t known him long, he sure as hell can when he’s about to start teasing. “You learn how to drive a stick and suddenly you’re a driving prodigy.”

“What can I say? I had a very good teacher,” he says it in a tone meant to be ironic to tease back, but to be fair, Jaehyun really was a good teacher. He was patient enough to teach a pessimist, at least.

Jaehyun sighs, and almost to himself, he mumbles, “I wish I could’ve taught Hyuck. I wonder if he actually knows how to.”

Doyoung looks back at him. Somehow there’s wishful thinking in his eyes, and it pains him to think that although Jaehyun would never say it out loud, he longed to see his brother once again, even at a time too late.

“Tell me more about him,” he suddenly says, and Jaehyun glances back at him, curious.

“Why?”

“Why not? We might as well get to know each other right?” He feels Jungwoo shuffle on his shoulder, opting to lean on the car door instead as he remains asleep. This gives Doyoung enough space to scoot, facing Jaehyun as he watches his eyes search ahead of the road. Looks like he isn’t so against it either. “Tell me about Hyuck,” he tries again. “I’d love to know him through you.”

Jaehyun doesn’t return the gaze, but Doyoung could tell he’s considering it. Eventually, he nods, choosing his next words carefully. “Well, he’s three years younger than me,” he starts off, a bit hesitant, but slowly begins to loosen at the fond memory of his brother. “He’s loud. God, I haven’t seen him in so long but sometimes I can still hear his shriek ringing inside my ear. It’s crazy. That’s how he used to wake me up on Sundays to head to the beach.”

“The beach,” Doyoung repeats, letting him know he’s engaged in conversation, urging him to go on.

“On bike, it was an hour away from home. We’d try to beat each other in getting there first. More often than not, I’d let him win just because he starts moping if he doesn’t.”

“That’s sweet.” The smile growing on Doyoung’s face is nothing short of genuine.

“He’s great,” Jaehyun agrees. “Before the cell signals went off, he’d text me often. Ask me to come home. After I found out he graduated top of his class in uni, I just couldn’t. I knew my parents would have something to say, so I just didn’t message back.”

The thought of Jaehyun losing touch with his family over an irreversible mistake makes Doyoung’s heart sink more than it should. Just how much has Jaehyun beat himself up over this? How much has he compromised for the sake of wanting to leave home?

“I’m sorry,” is the only way Doyoung knows how to respond.

“Nah, don’t be. It’s cool, I made my peace with it.” Jaehyun smiles, mostly to himself, but then he nudges Doyoung with his elbow, a sign that it would be the end of this conversation. “Now tell me more about Taeyong.”

Doyoung scoffs at his sudden request. “I never said I’d do that.”

“Come on. You don’t just expect me to lay my heart bare and not expect you to do the same.”

“Lay your heart bare?” He laughs, and so does Jaehyun. For a moment, the world doesn’t seem like it’s ending anytime soon, instead, it feels like he’s gaining a friend. “Fine," he says, trying to scan his memory for something worth mentioning. “Taeyong is… kind,” he settles. Yes. Kind is the best way to put it. “Way too kind for his own good. He–”

“Okay, I’ll stop you right there. I already know all that.”

Doyoung blinks back at him. “Then why are you asking?”

“I want to know what he means _to you,”_ Jaehyun reasons. “Why you’re crossing a thousand miles across the map just to get to him. I know Taeyong’s got a heart of gold, I’ve seen it myself. And… I know I said I wouldn’t ask about your intentions, but I just want to understand. If that’s alright with you.”

So Doyoung tries again. “Taeyong is…”

He rummages one more time. He’d been beside Taeyong for way too long that he doesn’t even know where to start, and somehow this is the hardest question he’s ever gotten in a while. People would call him considerate. Selfless. He’d do nothing but put everyone else in front of him and that frustrated Doyoung more than anything. 

And then it hits him, like a wave out of nowhere.

Not only is Taeyong kind, he’s also–

“–My best friend. Well… was,” and hearing it out loud hurt him more than he ever thought it could.

“We grew up together, knew each other since we were twelve. We even made an oath to grow old in a nursing home, but obviously that’s scrapped.”

He tries to let out a chuckle, but it comes off much more forced than he thought it’d be. At this point, he doesn’t even bother trying to hide that he's hurt.

“We were each other’s halves until we weren’t. I’d say it was because of the distance, but I actively avoided him too. I don’t know, it just–” he sighs, and if it’s tears he’s starting to feel prickle at his eyes, then he tries his best to hold it off. “–I thought if I wanted to get used to him being gone, I needed to keep him out of my life. I realized how stupid that was because I never got over him anyway. Now here I am, chasing down all my unused chances to the west of the road. Just before it’s too late.”

Jaehyun stays quiet, and Doyoung wants to avoid what he thinks, wants to stop being pitied because this is what it is, and it’s nothing more than what he wants so hard to not get out of him all this time.

“Guess we’re just two halves of one fuckup,” he finally says, and he looks back at Doyoung short enough to throw him a smile. Like he’s letting him know he’s alright.

Doyoung chuckles. “Yeah, you can say that.”

Maybe befriending Jaehyun for the end of the world isn’t such a bad call after all.

**_D-10_ **

It’s been nine days since Doyoung has abandoned home. It’s been nine days since he’s been on the road. The drive has unexpectedly taken them longer, considering the amount of times they had to push the truck to a start, jumpstart the engine, fix a flat tire, and even stay in shelter for the sudden downpour of rain.

Surely, the world was emptying out its bad luck on Doyoung before it decides to cave in.

“Doyoung, look!” Yuta suddenly calls out.

Jungwoo and Taeil have spotted a new hostel to stay in at, and they’ve pulled over to inspect if it’s any good. Jaehyun smokes at a far corner away from them (as per Doyoung’s request, which Jaehyun respects.) Doyoung opens the door to the passenger seat to walk towards Yuta, who’s leaned over at a boulder up the hill.

When he settles beside him, he sees the entire freeway laid out in front of them. Not empty, but almost. A few cars drive by here and there, but it’s not as congested as it would be if the world isn’t so doomed. 

“Do you see that?” Yuta points across the horizon, and Doyoung’s eyes follow. “That’s the intersection where we separate. Let’s call it a night, then we’ll get you there by morning. After that, it’s a few more hours west ‘til you get to where you need to go.”

It hasn’t really sunk in that they were getting so near, which really shouldn’t come as a surprise because they’ve been on the road for more than a week now. Still, a part of it disheartens Doyoung, paints a look of realization on his face that makes Yuta worry.

“Or we could drive you there if you want?” he suggests slowly, but Doyoung shakes his head, turning down the offer.

“You guys would never make it to the vault in time.”

He knows Yuta is just being polite. Just a few hours ago, they caught a radio signal tipping that the vault is closing in two days, and with just barely a week left, they couldn’t afford to keep making stops that dragged out their trip. There’s no possible way for them to take Doyoung to West Hook and drive back to where they need to be.

“Or you could just join us.” They turn their heads at the sound of Jungwoo’s voice, who’s making his way back to the lot after getting a go signal from inside the newly-found shelter. “We found a room for each one of us. Guy at the door doesn’t really care. Rooms don’t have a heater though.”

“Better than the last stop,” Yuta shrugs, tipping his head at the door. “Let’s check it out?”

“Right behind you.” Jungwoo nods as Yuta hauls his backpack from the back of the cargo, chasing his way to their accommodation for the night. They watch him run up to the door, and as soon as he’s out of sight, Jungwoo turns back to Doyoung. “Offer still stands,” he gives him a hopeful look, but Doyoung couldn’t be budged.

“You know I can’t,” he smiles back, and Jungwoo doesn't persuade him any further. 

He shrugs. “Thought I’d try.”

“For what it’s worth, I hope the vault’s real.”

“Yeah, me too.” Jungwoo nods, and although Doyoung couldn’t say he has as much faith as him, he really does want it to be real if it meant getting these guys safe.

  
-

It isn't everyday that they get to have a room for themselves for their night-ins. At most, they’d get a bed for three, and when they’re lucky, a room for two. For some reason, it feels natural just for him and Jaehyun to end up paired together. Not that Doyoung minded. Or cared. Jaehyun doesn’t snore anyway, nor did he move too much. To be quite honest, it feels stranger to _not_ have Jaehyun sleeping beside him right now.

Then there’s a knock on his door, followed by it creaking open. Doyoung sits himself up to find a head peeking, and it’s no other than the person he’s looking for.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” he greets back. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Walls are thin, and Taeil snores pretty loud.”

He grins, patting on one side of the bed to call him in, and Jaehyun gladly comes forward. He sits on the edge, and Doyoung tucks his knees up as he begins to wonder what really brings Jaehyun here. “Can you believe it? You guys are almost at Ravenwood,” he says, and Jaehyun looks up at him, opening his mouth to speak, but holds himself back.

The closest he could think of is Jaehyun came all this way to him to give him a private goodbye, at least. One different from how the rest are already starting to bid him. But by the look of his face, Doyoung knows that's not what he's here for.

“What’s wrong?”

“Doyoung…” Jaehyun begins, and his eyes start looking at anywhere but his. Doyoung watches as he starts toying with the thin fabric of the bedsheets, and the smile on his face slowly turns to fade as he braces himself for something he doesn’t know what to expect. “Maybe... maybe Jungwoo’s right.”

He stops for a beat, careful as he tries to understand. “What do you mean?”

“Ravenwood. Inside the vault? I heard you two talking about it,” Jaehyun says, and when Doyoung doesn’t react, he cuts it straight to the chase. “Maybe you should come with us.”

Doyoung stays still, processing Jaehyun’s words as he tries not to get lost in his emotions. Why is Jaehyun saying this now? Now when he’s this close to Taeyong. Why would he make Doyoung decide something like this now?

“You know what I came for, Jaehyun," he says, voice laced with hurt. "You know why I left home.”

“I know, it’s just…”

“Why are you asking me to join you?”

Then Jaehyun finally looks up at him, shaking his head as he lets out a silent mutter, “I just thought you deserve to be there.”

Doyoung studies him, tries to look for a more in-depth reason in the hollowness of his eyes. It couldn’t be it. There’s definitely more, and when Doyoung realizes what it is, his heart sinks. 

“You don’t think I should chase after Taeyong, do you? You think it’s pathetic, a waste of time.”

Jaehyun tilts his head. “Doyoung.”

He scoffs. “I knew you wouldn’t understand. Of course, you wouldn’t. You don’t know what it’s like. We _lived_ together. We both knew, Jaehyun, it’s…" He knows his words are starting to fumble out without much thought, but Doyoung has grown defensive. He didn't waste the remainder of his days to change his mind last-minute. That's not something he does. He's not like Jaehyun. "It’s empathy. We both loved each other and I have to let him know after all this time, I felt it. I mean– I mean you said so yourself, right? It’s taking a chance.”

“He’s married,” Jaehyun reasons, almost to a whisper, and Doyoung knows he’s trying his hardest to not raise his voice to match his. “What do you expect he’d do? That he’d leave Johnny as soon as you confessed, unprecedented, without warning that you came all this way to get there in the first place? Didn’t you ever stop to think how unfair that is? Be rational, Doyoung. And here I thought you were the smart one between the two of us.”

Doyoung shakes his head. He’s spent all his sticking to what he knows, to what he’s comfortable with. He laid out his entire life on a map for him to follow, but in a few more days, none of it would even matter anymore.

So for once in his life, just before it ends, Doyoung just wants to act on his irrationality.

“I’m not expecting anything from him.” He shakes his head. “I just want him to hear it from me, is all. That neither of us have to keep wondering what that thing was with us. Even if it’s too late, I just want him to know, Jaehyun. That's all I want.”

He doesn't even realize that he's begun to chase his breath, and he looks the other way, not wanting to see the look of pity masking Jaehyun's face.

“I don’t need you to feel sorry for me, Jaehyun. Don’t look at me like that.”

He draws his attention to the window, anything to distract himself from the flood of emotions; the images of Taeyong leaving that runs through his mind like an endless movie he just can't seem to forget. Then he shuts his eyes, badly holding off the tears that start to prickle his eyes.

The silence draws on for a while that makes him think Jaehyun has already shown himself out, but then he hears him ask, “Is it really worth it?”

When Doyoung opens his eyes, a tear manages to escape, and he wastes no time in wiping it off the back of his hand. As soon as he looks over Jaehyun, he knows he caught onto that.

“What do I have left to lose? My parents are overseas, there’s no way I could make it to them if I tried. My apartment in the city is probably burned to ash, I don’t have anyone else to be with nor anywhere else to go. So what do I have left to lose, Jaehyun?” He shrugs, shaking his head. “I have nothing else.”

Jaehyun doesn’t faze, only looks back at Doyoung, not bothering to keep the gaze he’s had the moment Doyoung turned at him, and with a quiet voice, he answers, “You could stay with me.”

But Doyoung has already made up his mind. “You know how much this means to me, Jaehyun,” he says, voice small and apologetic. “What if I gave up on him today and he ends up loving me tomorrow? I can’t, I’m sorry."

Jaehyun seals his lips together, nodding slowly as he pulls himself up from the bed wordlessly. Doyoung avoids his gaze, but from his peripheral, he watches him walk towards the door, shutting it as they call it an end to their conversation.

Somehow, he wishes Jaehyun never walked in his room that same night.

**_D-9_ **

When the day finally comes, Taeil pulls over at the intersection Yuta pointed out to last night. Doyoung hops off the passenger seat with Yuta, walking towards the back of the cargo to pick up his bag as he tries to avoid Jaehyun’s eyes. 

“So West Hook is a few hours straight once you head down Exit 92. You won’t miss it because you’ll pass by a beach. From there you’d be, I’d say four hours away from the city center.”

“Got it.”

“Dude,” Yuta says, picking the bag out for him. Without hesitation, he squeezes Doyoung in his arms for a hug, squishing him as hard as he could until the other lets out a groan. “Be careful there, alright?”

“I will,” he laughs as Yuta finally lets go. 

He watches Jungwoo hop off the back of the truck, calling him over for another parting hug, and Doyoung moves forward to the invitation, patting his back.

When he turns to the rest of them, he could tell they want him to stay, but he’s here now. He’s a few miles away from Taeyong now, and as much as a part of him is second-guessing if he should, he can’t. “I hope you guys make it.” He opts for these final words instead. “I’d say let’s meet again some other time, but…”

“Let’s meet in hell, then,” Taeil suggests, and Jungwoo rolls his eyes as the other grins, satisfied with his joke.

Doyoung looks back at the truck one last time, and he figures if Jaehyun wouldn’t surrender his pride, then he might as well be the bigger person.

“Jae,” he finally calls out, walking over to his side of the truck to squeeze him on the arm– a silent treaty. “Don’t cause trouble, okay?”

It makes Jaehyun send him back a small smile, and Doyoung doesn’t even realize he’s doing the same just by watching Jaehyun squeeze his hand. Perhaps now he knows they’ve harbored no ill feelings towards each other before they part, he’d finally be alright himself too.

“Let’s get going now,” Taeil interrupts, calling the others to hop in. “If we don’t make it in time, I might as well just run you guys over myself.”

They turn to each other one last time, and Jaehyun opens his mouth to speak, but ultimately ends up wordless. When Taeil finally starts the car, it’s already too late, because Doyoung is watching them go. Jungwoo waves back at Doyoung from the back of the truck as the distance starts to grow, and when they’re too far in sight, Doyoung begins to journey on his own.

  
-

Doyoung keeps walking west, bag slung over his shoulder as he makes his way in silence, each step bringing him closer to Taeyong’s door. The door that’s always open for him. He would’ve thought he’d sped up by the idea of it, but he doesn’t. He takes his time. Keeping one foot in front of the other with ease as he passes by the empty streets. There’s no use running when he’s been in a rush for days– this he lets himself have.

“Hey! Wait up! Hey!” 

Then his stomach dips, because for the past few days, he has learned to know that voice from the distance well enough. With wide eyes, he turns around to find Jaehyun, and there he is: waving and running towards him from the empty freeway.

“Jaehyun,” he says, barely audible even for himself.

When he finally makes his way to Doyoung, he’s panting, ridding himself off the bag he’s slung over his body as he tosses it to the ground. “How the hell are you walking so fast?” he groans. He holds himself up on his knees, wincing from the sprint he did as he tries to catch his breath.

“What the hell are you doing?” Doyoung’s voice isn’t upset, at least not like last night’s. It’s curious. Surprised to even think Jaehyun would attempt such a thing. 

“Well, for the past two miles, I’ve been trying to chase you down. I actually thought I was going the wrong way until I saw you.”

Doyoung blinks back at him, and when Jaehyun finally has the means to stand straight, he couldn’t help but laugh. He laughs because… because this is exactly what Jaehyun is, and he should’ve seen it coming. He looks back on the time he tried to teach him a lesson, tried to make him realize he couldn’t keep getting away with everything, but it’s just now does Doyoung realize he could’ve only done so much. There’s no changing him– Jaehyun who’s always so full of surprises, even nine days before the world ends.

“You are the craziest person I’ve ever met.”

And Jaehyun only smiles. “I sure am.” He picks his bag back up from the ground, dusting off the gravel right before he exchanges a glance between Doyoung and the next town they’ll be reaching. “Come on,” he says. “There’s… There’s something I want to show you.”

  
-

Turns out Jaehyun made up his mind not even more than five minutes after they drove off, at least that’s as much as he told Doyoung. He tells him he'll still find his way back to Ravenwood on his own, although he doesn’t elaborate much further how, and Doyoung is too afraid to ask why. Why he’d do such a thing in true Jaehyun fashion just for him.

“We’re almost there,” Jaehyun breaks the silence, something they’ve grown used to by now.

He nods, adding more to the growing curiosity of Jaehyun’s motives. The city they’re in is small and quiet, with a few people out and about the streets. As they pass by a park, he sees children biking along the trail, couples sitting on picnic blankets and toasting glasses of wine, and if Doyoung had forgotten, he wouldn’t even think an asteroid would crash into them sooner or later. 

It isn’t long until Jaehyun stops short, in front of a brownstone-lined house does Doyoung start to get an idea. He watches as Jaehyun stares at the door, waiting behind him patiently. Jaehyun lifts his hand up, hesitant.

“Jae,” Doyoung says, and he turns back at him. “It’s okay.”

He watches Jaehyun’s throat bob, but he nods at Doyoung’s words, dragging in a long breath just before he reaches out to knock. 

When they start hearing footsteps, Jaehyun wriggles his nerves away. Doyoung steps forward, reaching out for his hands to squeeze, wordless but reassuring. It isn’t something they’ve ever done before, and yet Jaehyun doesn’t flinch. He takes Doyoung’s hand on his own, gaps filling each other’s almost effortlessly, and then Doyoung feels him loosen.

The door bares open and Doyoung instinctively lets go. In front of them stands a woman. She’s shorter than both of them, hair cut short just above her shoulders with a cardigan she has just begun to hug over her body, until she freezes at the sight of them. Jaehyun, specifically.

Jaehyun tips his head slowly into a bow.

“Hi, Ma.”

  
-

Jaehyun hasn’t been home in a long time, this much Doyoung knows. As soon as they arrive inside, Jaehyun’s mother calls out for the rest to let them know Jaehyun’s home, and their faces are mapped with surprise and welcome, none of which felt questioning. Jaehyun opens his arms out for Hyuck, the same little brother Doyoung has heard in stories and memories, and he watches the two brothers give each other a long overdue hug.

“What’s your name, young man?” he hears Jaehyun’s mother address him quietly, and he turns to his side to find his parents give him a welcoming smile.

Doyoung quickly offers a bow for respect, one hand clinging on the strap of his bag wrapped across his body. “Kim Doyoung,” he says. “I went to high school with your son in the city. It’s lovely to finally meet you both.”

“We could say the same,” Jaehyun’s father nods. He’s taller than Doyoung, yet the least bit intimidating.

“Ma. Dad.”

The conversation gets cut short as Jaehyun calls out, and his parents excuse themselves to get to him. His father opens his arms, and Jaehyun’s head follows to rest on his shoulder, looping an arm over his mother as he gets locked in their embrace, tight and long and full of unspeaking emotion– words that haven’t been said in years. Doyoung knows when it’s time for him to step back from an intimate moment, so he leaves them be. There’s a lot of catching up they all have to do anyway.

He turns away quietly, feet leading him to the front of their house. He catches a glimpse of neighbors, some picking up groceries from the trunk, some watering their garden. It makes Doyoung wonder why Jaehyun hated this place so much that he had to leave, had to fake interest in studying that caused him his detachment.

It makes him wonder too if his thoughts were said out loud, because then he hears:

"It's lifeless here, I know."

Doyoung turns his head and finds Hyuck, kicking off a small stone from the small steps that led up their door, then he takes a seat on the stairs, inviting Doyoung to do the same.

“Hi,” Doyoung says, sitting on the step just above him. “I’m Doyoung. I take it you’re Hyuck?”

Hyuck snorts. “That’s funny. I always thought he treated me like a myth to his friends.”

“He talked a lot about you, actually.”

It makes him tilt his head, curious yet amused. “Oh yeah? What else did he tell you? He hasn’t answered my messages in an eternity, I’m surprised he even has something to say.”

“He adores you very much. He says you’re smart, strong-willed. Snarky– his words not mine.”

“He said that?" and finally, Hyuck smiles, slowly letting his walls down because this he knows were words truly passed down from his brother. His brother that still very much adores him despite thinking he could never be welcomed back home.

“He’s always talked about you like you were untouchable. I know he had his reasons for not coming back, but you were everything to him. Even if he’s much older than you, he looks up to you,” Doyoung adds, because it’s true, and maybe, just maybe, it would at least help them reconcile.

“Mom and Dad missed him a lot. They don’t say it straight to my face, but every year he doesn’t come home, I just know they’re waiting for him by the door. That’s why I kept asking him to. I guess he always had an impression that they were upset he chose not to study. I mean, yeah, they were pretty disappointed with that, but… I just wish he didn’t beat himself up over it for so long.” He shrugs. “They just wanted him home.”

“He is now.”

“Right.” Hyuck nods, smirking at him. “Guess you shaped him up pretty good.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jaehyun’s a stubborn guy. He wouldn’t have come here on his own if not someone knocking some sense on him, you know? So thanks.”

Doyoung wants to say that this had nothing to do with him, that it was all Jaehyun. Jaehyun and his spontaneity. But Hyuck looks convinced and genuinely thankful that Doyoung didn’t want to discredit him for it, so he nods in acknowledgement.

“Hey, Dad’s calling you upstairs.”

They turn behind them to find Jaehyun by the door, and Doyoung exchanges a glance with Hyuck before he gets up on his feet, dusting off his pants. As Hyuck walks up the door, he playfully bumps into Jaehyun before proceeding inside, and a grin escapes Jaehyun’s face, bumping him back. They exchange a small conversation that Doyoung doesn’t try to invade, and It’s then does he realize just how close the two brothers really are.

As soon as Hyuck leaves for inside, Doyoung gets up on his own, with Jaehyun towering him by a few inches from up the stairs. “How come I always feel like I know so much about you, but at the same time I don’t?” he asks, genuine. Jaehyun really is so full of surprises to him.

Jaehyun hums, squinting his eyes as he pretends to come up with an answer. “To be fair, you know more about me than anyone by now.”

When Jaehyun’s eyes land back at him, neither of them look away.

Doyoung could definitely say the same about him.

“Are you taking everyone to Ravenwood? There's still time if you guys leave tonight,” Doyoung asks. It’s the first reason he could think of as soon as Jaehyun came back here. Maybe Hyuck was right. Doyoung really does cling on to his sentiments, it’s most likely that he’s rubbed some on Jaehyun to think twice about waiting it out alone.

But Jaehyun doesn’t answer his question, only throws Doyoung a small smile. "I told you there's something I needed to show you, right?"

He tilts his head towards a door that leads to the back of their house, and Doyoung follows behind curiously. As soon as Jaehyun opens it, Doyoung finds a car hidden underneath a dusting cover, and Jaehyun takes it off to reveal a convertible, shiny and red, nothing like they've ever been on in a while.

Doyoung’s mouth gapes open. “So you’re telling me we’ve been surviving off a junk Bentley and the back of a pick-up truck, only for your family to own a convertible?” he jokes, thinking it would make an enjoyable trip for his family back to Ravenwood, but the smile on his face wears off too soon when Jaehyun lets him know otherwise.

“We can use it to get you to West Hook.”

And that’s when Doyoung realizes what they’re here for. Jaehyun took him here… so he could drive him to Taeyong. He begins to notice the keys looped around Jaehyun’s finger, and Jaehyun clicks on it to unlock it. He opens the door as he sticks the key in the ignition, the engine warming up that the reality of it all is starting to sink in.

“Jaehyun…”

“A deal’s a deal."

“But your family…” Doyoung reasons quietly. “The vault. You’ll never make it.”

But all Jaehyun does is shrug, unapologetic. “No one knows if that shit’s true anyway. Besides, I made a promise, remember? I intend on keeping it.”

Doyoung looks at him, a mix of disbelief and awe, and he shakes his head with a small laugh.

Jaehyun really is full of surprises.

“Let’s get you to West Hook.”

  
-

Parting with Jaehyun’s family wasn’t as bad as Doyoung had hoped. When Jaehyun let them know they were off, they didn’t question, only gave him another long hug and a head ruffle from Hyuck. Almost as if they knew he would eventually go.

Doyoung had given him a doubtful look, but Jaehyun shrugs it aside, ushering him in the passenger seat as they set off to drive. “Don’t worry about it,” he tells him, and maybe Doyoung felt like he knew Jaehyun enough to trust him.

Somewhere along the drive, Doyoung could already see the beach Taeil had told him he’d find. It crosses his mind that it’s the same beach Jaehyun and Hyuck used to bike to on weekends, and he couldn’t help but picture an image of them, laughing and chasing each other on wheels, coursing through the breeze as they get closer and closer to the sand.

It’s a quiet trip, and with Doyoung looking out the window longingly, Jaehyun must’ve known. Suddenly, he feels the roof opening, and the wind rushes through his face without warning, so he looks back at Jaehyun with a smile. Maybe it’s the way the skies have finally turned a warm shade of orange, which lets the sun casts a perfectly fit halo on the back of Jaehyun’s head, or maybe it’s because his dark tousled hair flies all over his face that he has to constantly sweep it aside to see where he’s driving.

“Your hair,” Doyoung laughs, mindlessly reaches out to fix it for him. 

“You know, my hometown isn’t my most favorite thing in the world. But this beach? This beach was the only thing that made me stay as long as I did. Seeing it again is probably the best way to wrap up my days here.”

Doyoung looks out to it one more time, tries to see it in Jaehyun’s eyes. See just how much this place means to him. He may never completely feel the same way he does, but Doyoung understands. It really is a paradise on its own, and he’s extremely grateful that this had been here when Jaehyun needed somewhere to turn to for comfort. 

"Are those houses?” he asks when he notices a dozen or so lined up near the sand. 

"Resthouses. We actually have one for ourselves. Hyuck kept the key somewhere in a fake rock.” He chuckles at the memory. “I wonder if it’s still there.”

“Well, pull over and let’s find out.” Doyoung says it without thinking, but the thing is, he doesn’t feel like taking his words back either. Jaehyun glances over, reluctant. “Sun’s going down. Let’s spend the night here,” he explains, a part of him wondering why he’s stalling. Wondering why he’s holding himself back from getting to where he has to.

By the look of Jaehyun’s face, so is he.

“I’ll be in West Hook in a few hours. If I let a three-day trip stretch out into more than a week, then I can let another night pass.”

Jaehyun doesn’t question, nor does he say anything, and as they drive nearer to the houses, Doyoung feels the car slow down.

  
  
-

The thing about being at each other’s side for the past few days, despite it being a short time, is that there’s familiarity. As soon as the sun sets down, Doyoung doesn't find it the least bit strange when Jaehyun crawls up beside him in bed, facing each other like how they always do at every stop they’ve been where there aren’t enough rooms.

Except this time, Doyoung’s doesn’t feel like he’s running out of time. 

“It’s getting loud in there,” Jaehyun says, suddenly reaching out to tap on Doyoung’s temple.

Doyoung lightly swats it away, curling his legs up in fetal position as he rests his head on his palms. “What do you think happened to them? Do you think they made it?”

Jaehyun sighs. “I hope so. Bomb shelter or not, I hope those three are getting wrecked. Especially Jungwoo.”

“He was a fun guy,” Doyoung agrees, grinning. “I drive better than him though.”

“You did. I’m very proud.”

And when Jaehyun smiles, it sends Doyoung a rush of memories from not too long ago. Him freaking out on his first time behind the wheel, the car whirring every time he tried to shift gears, him swearing they’re sending them both to an early death. And now here they are: their last night before they finally part for good. With him earning a newfound skill he’s not sure would be useful after a week.

“What happens to you?” Doyoung asks, quiet.

Jaehyun lands his eyes elsewhere and ponders silently. “I think you’re right,” he says. “Maybe I don't need to be surrounded by strangers. Maybe I can just wait it out with the thing that means to me the most. The people I love, I guess.” His eyes finally land back to meet his, and Doyoung sees it in him that he meant his family. Hyuck.

Jaehyun deserves that very much.

“You’re almost at yours,” he adds.

And that’s when it hits Doyoung. Because when the first thing that crosses his mind isn’t West Hook nor is it Taeyong, when the first thing he could think of is to say that Jaehyun’s wrong, that’s when Doyoung realizes.

Waiting it out with someone he loves.

He isn’t thinking of Taeyong. He isn’t thinking of him at all.

Because as soon as the thought crosses his mind, the first person he thinks of is Jaehyun.

  
-

**_D-8_ **

A few days ago, Jaehyun tried to convince Doyoung to stay, and now here they are: entering the town Doyoung has been dead-set on getting into.

He remains silent, reassessing the letter in his hands, the same letter that he once was so careful in keeping, careful not to ruin. It’s funny how now he doesn’t even mind the creases anymore. He looks back on how hellbent he’s been, living off moldy motels and sleeping in the back of a pick-up truck just so he could get here. Now that he is, he isn’t so sure if it’s what he wants anymore.

“So I guess this is it, then,” Jaehyun starts, dragging in a long breath.

Doyoung doesn’t look him in the eyes, only trying his best to pay attention to the address written in his hands, except they’re passing off like jumbled letters he doesn’t seem to care about.

Why doesn’t he seem to care?

“That was the plan,” he says back, although what he really wants to say is, _‘Can we just go back?’_

Then he begins to wonder. If Jaehyun asks him to stay one last time, would he? If he had brought up the idea that they should just get away, would he say yes? Right now, Doyoung sure as hell wants him to. When Jaehyun begins to stall, tapping on the wheel lightly with his fingers as if he has something he needs to get off his chest, somehow… somehow Doyoung thinks he wants the same thing out of this.

“Don’t tell this car but… I think I’d choose Mr. Park’s beat-up Bentley over this. She just has more charm, you know?”

_Beg me to stay, Jaehyun. Beg me to stay._

“We can always head back east,” Doyoung says instead, hopefully making Jaehyun get the hint. “Pick her off the gas station where we left her.”

“Doyoung, I…”

_Make me stay. Tell me not to go, Jaehyun._

“...I hope everything works out.”

Doyoung nods, as painful as it is. “Yeah. You… you take care of yourself.”

When Jaehyun begins to unlock the door, it forces Doyoung to step out as he tucks the letter in his pocket. But Jaehyun still hasn’t left, because he too opens his door. The engine still remains on and if one of them asks the other to drive to Saturn, Doyoung bets his life they’d do it without question.

“I’m not sure if that still counts in a few days, but I will be sure to make the most of it.”

“Jaehyun,” Doyoung starts, but he chokes on his words before he could get them out. “Thank you.”

Jaehyun nods, and as if he’s formulating his own words, he manages to say, “I told you I’d keep my promise, right?”

“You did.”

He did. And Doyoung... God, Doyoung is just hoping he wouldn’t. Just this once.

“Would it be weird if I hug you right now?”

And he doesn’t even question. Doyoung tackles him, swooping his arms right around his waist as he buries his face in his chest. He smells of cigarettes and the saltwater, and although Doyoung has always disliked its scent, he breathes him in if it meant remembering him one last time. His fingers clutch onto the back of Jaehyun's shirt and he doesn’t want to let go. He wouldn’t have if not for Jaehyun pulling away first, and that’s when he knows he has to follow suit.

“I gotta get going,” Jaehyun whispers, almost like he’s sorry.

“Okay.”

He watches Jaehyun open the car door one last time, and he wonders what’s stopping him from getting back in there with him. Just before Jaehyun gets in, he looks back at Doyoung one last time, throwing in the smile Doyoung surely knows he’d think about for the remainder of his days.

“Go get him.”

  
  
-

Taeyong never lied when he said his door was always open for Doyoung. Doyoung had been sure of it the moment he and Jaehyun drove off west of the city. Although there was never a detailed plan once he got here, he was certain of what it would feel: Liberating. Years of emotional baggage being lifted off his chest. The moment he's been waiting for all these years.

But then the door opens wide in front of him, and there he is. There's Taeyong. And the thing is, it feels nothing like that at all.

"Do," Taeyong manages to say, the pet name ringing in his ears along with the wave of familiarity he's been craving for. "You came."

You came. Even after all these years, after avoiding the chance of reconciliation sent to him, Taeyong was waiting. Taeyong was expecting him all this time, and yet somehow…

"I did."

Somehow Doyoung has started feeling unsure.

-

Taeyong welcomes him in without question, asks him to make himself comfortable while he calls Johnny from the upstairs bedroom. So while he’s left to himself, Doyoung begins to assess his home. The home Taeyong has made after he left their studio apartment together. 

The thing is, while Doyoung had imagined it as a home full of regret and wrong decisions, it isn't like that. It isn't like that at all. By the living room are rows of picture frames hung on the wall, all of which are Taeyong and Johnny doing the things young couples in love do: travelling, dining in at fancy rooftops, pictures of their wedding…

Doyoung stops. He realizes that this was the same Taeyong who told him just how unsure he was about moving too fast. The same Taeyong that urged him to get to where he is today.

"Idiot…" Doyoung mutters to himself.

For all these years, the one thing he's been holding in is simply nothing but a momentary hesitation– a person stepping on to new waters. Something he had misread as an irreversible regret. No matter how Doyoung tried to convince himself, Taeyong didn’t make a mistake, and in time, through these frames that gradually showed just how happy Taeyong is, Doyoung knows his best friend began to realize that himself.

"Doyoung!" a sudden voice calls, and before he could react, Johnny swoops him in his arms.

He yelps, with Johnny spinning him around the room that it sends his vision spiraling as soon as he lands on his feet. "Johnny, hey," he greets. 

There’s always been a reason why he never questioned Taeyong falling for Johnny. He’s incredibly charming, charismatic in a way he knows anyone would swoon over. He could never bring himself to dislike Johnny, especially when he never gave Doyoung a reason to. 

"Look at you!" he beams, as if no one has broken the news to him about the end of the world yet.

He would've thought that Johnny meant he looks shittier than ever because… well, he's _been_ feeling shittier than ever. But then Taeyong adds: "Like nothing's changed, right?"

"Exactly!"

But that's where they're wrong. Because in a span of three weeks, with the desperation of him trying to get here, something shifted in him. Something he never saw coming.

Doyoung has changed.

-

When sundown arrives, Johnny gets the sudden idea of setting a sophisticated dinner for having such a special guest. Doyoung insists that he doesn’t have to, but Johnny is already at the door, grabbing his keys by the rack as he hops on his car.

That's when Doyoung realizes they have two parked by the garage, and he looks back at Taeyong curiously. Both of them have always bonded about being too afraid to go behind the wheel before, and when Taeyong waves him off, Doyoung knows he could read what’s on his mind.

“I took driving lessons when I moved here,” he explains, almost embarrassed by the information Doyoung is just finding out about him. “Sometimes, you have to compromise doing things that scare you if it means being where you want to be.”

Then Doyoung’s teasing smile slowly fades.

"Do you want to settle your stuff down? There's a spare room upstairs," Taeyong continues, not realizing that Doyoung has just gotten an idea out of what was just said.

 _‘Sometimes, you have to compromise doing things that scare you if it means being where you want to be.’_ He looks back at Taeyong, his best friend who always seemed to care, who found his place way ahead of him.

Now, Doyoung thinks it's his turn.

“Yong.”

Doyoung had loved Taeyong for so long, and although he never knew when exactly, he knew he meant more to him than he should. They'd been by each other's side for years, knew more about the other than they do about themselves. It was particularly impossible not to fall in love with him, but now, as unexpected as it may sound, Doyoung couldn’t feel it.

The ache in his chest, the emptiness that lingered on his walls when Taeyong packed his bags, the constant longing that he’s held on for all these years... Doyoung had been too busy clutching on to it all that he never stopped to think if any of it was still even there.

As unexpected as it may sound, Doyoung begins to let go.

He feels the letter lodged right inside his pocket, then he grabs hold of it, crumpling it as hard as he could like a memory that he didn’t have to keep in for so long. “Is it… is it okay if I borrow your car?”

Taeyong raises a brow at him, smiling. As if he knew. “Since when did you learn how to drive?”

“Two weeks ago… I’m sorry, it’s just… I have to go. I have somewhere to be.”

“I know.” He nods, nonchalant, running his fingers through the key rack by his door. I’ll tell Johnny. It’s okay. He won’t mind buying himself a bottle of wine.”

He reaches out to grab Doyoung’s hand, palm facing up as he presents him the key to his car. When Doyoung looks up, there’s a proud smile on his face. Unspoken, but written. How the two of them have grown, not as best friends, but as themselves. How they need not rely on each other to survive. How Taeyong was once wary, and how Doyoung had been chasing something he couldn’t see. Now they’re both at peace with where they are.

“I loved you, Yong,” he says, finally. But it’s unlike anything he’s ever thought it would feel. There’s no rush, no racing heartbeats. Just the truth. Plain and simple. “I loved you more than you know.”

“I know.” Taeyong nods. “I always knew, Do. I think we both did.”

Then without warning, Doyoung steps closer, arms up to wrap around Taeyong’s shoulders as he encloses him for a hug. Taeyong follows suit, already burying his head on his chest. Like how they always did.

Doyoung presses a kiss on his forehead, just before he breaks away. “I still do, just…” He shakes his head. “I guess I’ve been okay for a while now. I’m happy for you. I’m happy you have Johnny. You deserve someone like him. And for the record, I don’t think you made the wrong call at all.”

Taeyong looks genuinely happy, saying, “I don’t think you’re making the wrong call either.”

And it's enough to convince Doyoung that he'll be alright. “Me too.”

  
-  
  


When Doyoung steps foot on the beach again, he gets glimpses of yesterday: him and Jaehyun watching people start a campfire in the middle of the sand, a small crowd lined up to be baptized by saltwater, some even getting wed. Simple things to accomplish before they run out of time. 

He sees familiar faces, most of whom he met yesterday, exchanging smiles and hellos, but none of whom he’s looking for. He runs up to the resthouse, checking the window to find the fake rock that had the key hidden. Except it isn’t there. But then a voice calls behind him:

“Doyoung?”

And he turns his heels quick enough to find Jaehyun standing in front of him, blinking back at him in disbelief. “Jaehyun,” is the only answer he provides.

“Why did you–”

“I came back.” He shakes his head, decided. “I couldn’t leave you. I couldn’t.”

Jaehyun still has his mouth gaping open. “How did you know I’d be here?”

“I didn’t,” Doyoung admits, shrugging, then suddenly remembering Jaehyun’s own words. “I figured I'd take my chance.”

Then when Jaehyun starts to smile, recognizing the same reasons he gave him before, Doyoung gets the guts to move towards him, tackling him for a hug which Jaehyun meets him halfway with. 

“You are the craziest person I’ve ever met,” says Jaehyun, words muffled as he buries his head on Doyoung’s hair.

“I sure am.”

  
-

**_D-5_ **

“Can I ask you something?” Jaehyun suddenly asks. They took part of the small circle setting up a fire by the beach, and Doyoung is busy poking the logs around with a stick to strengthen the flame. He hums in response. “What happened with Taeyong?”

As soon as the fire catches onto a piece of wood he’s been trying to get, he turns over to Jaehyun, sitting back in the sand. "I told him,” he says, simple and true. “Said everything I wanted to up until that moment. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. I made my peace with it.” He chuckles to himself. “God knows it would’ve taken me this long.”

He throws the stick in the fire and watches as embers begin to fly up, matching the colors of the warm sky. The shade of orange gets more vibrant by the day, and even non-believers could already tell the asteroid is drawing nearer and nearer when the skies have abnormally shifted its colors to represent the deepest sunset in humanity.

“I couldn't let the same mistake happen again," he adds quietly.

At least this time, he isn’t too late.

**_D-3_ **

“Jaehyun?” Doyoung asks one late night.

Jaehyun already has his eyes shut, but tilts his head at the sound of his name. When he flutters his eyes open, Doyoung scurries to his side, their bodies and faces separated by a few inches that the slightest of breathing would brush against each other’s cheeks.

“Do you ever think your family was expecting you to stay?”

Jaehyun shakes his head lightly, still a bit too drowsy. “They always knew I wouldn't stay for long,” he mutters. “When I asked for the car, I told them they didn't have to wait for me. I think they understood.”

“Do you want us to drive back there?” Doyoung suggests.

They have a few days left, and if Jaehyun is too tired to go behind the wheel, then driving him to his family is the least Doyoung could do. But just as he props himself up, he feels Jaehyun hold onto his wrist, eyes still half-closed as he tugs on him lightly back to bed.

“I just want to lay with you. If that’s alright,” and it’s enough for Doyoung to oblige.

Jaehyun reaches out for his cheek, the softness of his touch almost sending him to a haze. Doyoung moves his head just slightly enough to leave small kisses on his palm, trailing it up to the tips of his fingers. He feels Jaehyun's thumb graze over his bottom lip, staring at it, and when he starts leaning forward, Doyoung allows him to part his lips open, catching Jaehyun's halfway.

Maybe it was something Doyoung had longed– feeling alive. Anything to prove that his life isn’t a repeat of yesterday’s, an endless cycle of wasting days into memories that didn’t amass to anything. This time, he doesn’t hold back. He kisses Jaehyun back, urgent and desperate. Because in the time they’ve spent together, Jaehyun has shown him what it meant to live. Made him feel more than he ever did when he was busy numbing himself with his own self-pity. 

They’re running out of time, and Doyoung knows. Doyoung knows he could never feel this high again. Through the night, clothes start to strip, bodies sticky with sweat as gasps escape every once in a while. Trails of kisses here and there, wet, languid, sensual. At one point, Jaehyun towers over him, laying him down, and they stay like that for a while, catching their breaths and searching each other’s eyes.

“I want to stay like this forever,” Doyoung whispers, hands buried at the back of Jaehyun’s hair. 

Jaehyun smiles, maybe at the absurdity of it, or the fact that Doyoung just read his mind. When he begins to dip his head down for another open-mouthed kiss, Doyoung thinks maybe it’s the latter.

**_D-0_ **

When the last night arrives, there are no more children by the beach. The fire they’ve constantly set up each day in the sand has finally died out, and when the power shuts down entirely, it isn’t long until the rest of them follow suit. 

Doyoung lies down with Jaehyun, much like how they did the first night they shared a bed, except this time they’re closer, legs intertwined as Jaehyun cards his hands over Doyoung’s hair that seem to have grown past his eyes. There’s a warm glow of orange that casts a halo behind Jaehyun’s head, and he'd even dare say it looks majestic if not symbolizing an end.

When a distant boom echoes miles away from the beach, Doyoung tries his hardest not to flinch. “I wish we met sooner,” he says, an attempt to distract himself from the fear that’s building up inside. The least he could do now is be honest. “I wish I could’ve spent more time with you, knowing you all over again.”

Then another boom. 

“I was so alone for such a long time, I wish I knew.” Brutally honest.

Jaehyun remains brushing his hair, like he’s lulling him to sleep. “It couldn’t have happened any other way,” he says, voice calm and quiet.

“I don’t want you to go.” By now, Doyoung doesn’t bother stopping the silent tear that rolls over his cheek, and Jaehyun moves his thumb to sweep it, shuffling nearer to touch his forehead with his. 

“I’ll be there. Wherever it is, I’ll find you,” he reassures. “We found each other once already, didn’t we?”

“Jaehyun...”

But Jaehyun cuts him off, shaking his head. “We’ll meet there.” 

Another boom.

Doyoung holds onto his cheek, somehow his persistence convincing him that maybe they might. Maybe this isn’t the end at all. Just one lifetime passing onto the other. Doyoung grips his other hand on the hem of Jaehyun’s shirt, thinking maybe if he holds on, it just might keep them from separating. 

“Promise me.”

And Jaehyun nods. “I promise.” Surely. Certainly.

By the next sound, Doyoung shuts his eyes, keeping the rest of his tears pooling in his eyes just before they get to blur his vision. When he opens them again, the last thing he sees are flashes of white light, but the image of Jaehyun is too strong to be forgotten, and it remains.

Through the next lifetime, Doyoung remembers. Jaehyun never breaks a promise, and through the next lifetime, it remains.

  
  
  


_ “You taught me the courage of stars, before you left / How light carries on endlessly, even after death / With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite / How rare and beautiful it is, to even exist.” _

Saturn, Sleeping At Last

**Author's Note:**

> my dearest thanks to my beta 🔑 for reading this for me and cheering me on despite me giving up on it multiple times. while this was based off a prompt, it was very similar to an abandoned wip i had ages ago, all the way across a different fandom. with a few reparations, i finally realized where i was being held back, and i'm so glad to finally share it properly this time. 
> 
> thank you belle for the extremely, hauntingly beautiful [fanart](https://twitter.com/bituinan/status/1312741991600451584) of the ending scene. you captured it so well ;___;
> 
> i hope everyone who made it here to the end is somewhat satisfied, albeit a little broken, with this little token of mine to the tag~
> 
> as always, i would greatly appreciate kudos and/or comments (˵ᵕ̴᷄ ᗜ ᵕ̴᷅˵)
> 
> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Wmp6aDz6tGeesHEjQGEsY?si=QcZX_wk_T6q7E2wykPMNXg) | [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/dochidoii/) | [cc](https://curiouscat.me/dochidoii/)  
> 


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